The Myth of the Happy Submissive Wife: How to Pursue Your Own Happiness

Are you a Christian wife looking for ways to pursue your own happiness? Have you been looking for ways to become a better Christian, but have not been able to figure out how? If you answered ‘yes’ to either of these questions, then you have come to the right place!

In this article, I will explore the myth of the “happy submissive wife” and discuss the importance of pursuing your own happiness, even as a Christian. This article will explore topics such as what it means to be a submissive wife, what the Bible says about being a submissive wife, and how to be a good Christian husband and wife. I’m so excited to share what I’ve learned with you!

Defining the Myth of a Happy Submissive Wife

The “happy submissive wife” myth is one that has been around for centuries, and it’s still influencing many relationships today. While there are Christians who believe that a godly wife should always obey her husband and acquiesce to his decisions, this is not reflective of a balanced, healthy relationship.

The concept of a happy submissive wife implies that wives should never be assertive in their marriages. It paints an incomplete picture of what Biblical submission means by omitting the notion of 1 Peter 3:7, which states: “Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers and sisters, be compassionate and humble.

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This passage teaches us that relationships should remain balanced between two complementary partners who both respect each other and work together towards the same goals. The “happy submissive wife” myth misses this key part of Christian teachings by portraying submission as something one-sided and oppressive.

Unfortunately there are still many people today who view submission through this constrained lens—one that can lead to marital conflict or even worse. It’s only through understanding what true Christian submission really looks like—a relationship characterized by mutual respect, joint decision-making, listening skills and open communication—that we can live out the words of 1 Peter 3:7 and effectively pursue our own happiness (and ultimately God’s glory) alongside our spouse in our Christian marriage.

Exploring How to Pursue Your Own Happiness

At one point in my life, I bought into the myth of the “happy submissive wife”. I was a lukewarm Christian and subscribed to the idea that in order to be a “good” Christian, I needed to be submissive to my husband and follow his every command.

If he wanted me to do something, I would follow without question, sometimes sacrificing my own wants or needs in order to make him happy. However, it took me some time and experience before I realized that this way of life actually caused me more harm than good.

I wasn’t being true to myself or true to God – in fact; the only way for me truly meet both my individual spiritual needs as well as help provide for the needs of my family was by seeking our own version of joy and happiness outside rule-following submission.

Through this blog, I want to explore how others can pursue their own happiness while still being a ‘good Christian’and following God’s teachings. We will look at how it affects us as individuals, our relationships with our families and significant others, and finally how we can use the teachings of Christ in our lives everyday.

Breaking Down the Myth

For too long, the myth of the happy submissive wife has left many women silenced and feeling unfulfilled. But it doesn’t have to be this way. The truth is that being a submissive Christian wife doesn’t mean you have to be unhappy and silenced. Instead, you can use these biblical principles to pursue your own happiness, as well as be a better Christian.

Let’s take a closer look at how this myth is perpetuated and how to break it down.

Examining the Role of a Submissive Wife in the Bible

The Bible has often been misinterpreted to require a wife to be submissive to her husband. While the Bible does discuss submitting in marriage, submission isn’t what made Eve submit to the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The serpent wasn’t her husband or an authority figure; he was a deceiver whose intentions were to lead Eve astray and make Adam and Eve disobey God’s commandment. So, how can we use what happened in the Garden of Eden to help us understand the role of submissiveness in marriage?

First, it is important to remember that submission is not synonymous with servitude or passivity; it is more accurately described as aligning one’s interests with those of another. It doesn’t mean blindly following orders from one’s spouse. Instead, it is a conscious decision to use our experiences and gifts for service, growth and learning—not solely for self-gratification or pleasure purposes.

Second, we need to recognize that when God instructed Adam and Eve both had responsibilities. Both were called to care for their relationship with God each other by putting their needs before their own desires and adhering to God’s principles and laws. This implies balance—as much as possible—in marriage from both partners instead of a hierarchical structure where one partner wields power over another partner’s choices. We don’t want lukewarm Christianity (Romans 12:11) but we also don’t want good Christian principles twisted into something not intended by Scripture (Matthew 6:19–20).

We can look at key bible stories like Abraham sacrificing his son Issac, Ruth promising never-ending loyalty while grieving her dead spouse Boaz, and other biblical accounts showing submission as an act of faithfulness even during trying times —in opening up honest dialogue on love expressed with kindness rather than control or abuse—to better determine how best submission should look like in a modern context? Submission should put one’s loved ones first without neglecting oneself in order for your loving relationship with your spouse and children grow ever deeper now that you’re seated at Christ’s feet (Colossians 3:1-17).

Understanding the Difference Between Submission and Obedience

It’s important to note that obedience and submission—while potentially overlapping in certain scenarios—are two distinct topics. Obedience is defined as “the action of doing something you are told to do,” while submission is defined as “the willing acceptance of a lesser position or status than someone else.” In other words, obedience is the act of following orders, while submission is more focused on how you respond emotionally and spiritually to a given situation. In marriage, this means taking the time to think through and vocalize your feelings before fatefully agreeing or disagreeing with your partner’s opinion or request.

The misconception about being a submissive wife has been around for centuries and goes hand-in-hand with the idea that women shouldn’t strive for equality in their relationships. But before submitting completely to anyone or anything, it’s important to take an honest examination of what it truly means: To have a humble heart. To prioritize others over self without sacrificing your own intuition, thoughts and values in the process. It means having enough self-awareness to recognize what we can control vs. elements beyond our control or understanding – much like Paul did when he wrote his letter to the Ephesians (5:21-33).

Being submissive isn’t about making yourself powerless — it’s empowerment rooted in more than just one person’s ego! It provides us an opportunity to take ownership of our spiritual purpose by embodying verses like 1 Peter 3:1-6 (“Wives, be subject (submissive) to your husbands”) – verses written not out of force but out of empathy between two people striving towards a beautiful union – however imperfect it may be sometimes! This understanding will lead us down a path where we can be better Christian wives–not just good wives–just as Christ was closer yet still subordinate to his father God Almighty throughout his earthly ministry!

Recognizing the Need for Balance in Marriage

Any honest Christian will tell you that a marriage is a balance of power between two people. There’s no one person who has total dominion over the other person–both spouses have responsibilities and obligations to each other. And there needs to be a healthy balance between the two sides.

But there seems to be this lingering idea that being a ‘submissive wife’ means not having any personal interests, desires or opinions, or remaining silent whenever there’s an issue at hand. This is completely untrue and goes against the most basic tenets of Christianity.

Submission by itself isn’t inherently bad; it just means that one partner puts their personal interests onto the other partner so they can create harmony within the relationship and make decisions jointly as opposed to going separate ways in times of need or conflict.

The Bible never talks about completely surrendering control in marriage from one side only; it talks about both partners compromising with each other (Ephesians 5:21-33). A husband should not treat his wife as an inferior, nor should a wife submit herself absolutely to her husband without her own opinions and feelings factored in. Both partners should mutually respect each other and work together for love, harmony and mutual understanding which will ensure for a strong marriage based on Biblical principles!

Embracing Your Own Happiness

Are you tired of being the perfect undefined submissive wife to please your husband and society? Are you ready to start living and embracing the joy of life that God intended for you? Are you ready to move away from being a lukewarm Christian to a better and good Christian one?

In this article, I will help you understand how to move away from the ‘myth of the happy submissive wife’ to pursue your own happiness and become a better Christian.

Learning to Stand Up for Yourself

As a submissive wife, you have to learn how to take control of your own happiness. It’s easy to be swept away by the words of others and follow what they think is best for you. But if you don’t understand your own needs and desires, it is hard to make healthy decisions that will truly allow you to flourish in life.

It’s important that you learn how to recognize when someone isn’t taking a healthy interest in your wellbeing and stand up for yourself in those situations. Be sure that someone who is offering Christian advice or guidance isn’t doing so out of ego or a sense of superiority – it should be done with humility and kindness that expresses a genuine concern for your wellbeing. Don’t be afraid to speak up, take initiatives, and respectfully decline activities or suggestions if they don’t align with your goals or values.

On the other hand, it’s equally important to remember that often those around us can teach us valuable lessons about fulfilling relationships and growth strategies. They may offer insights into who we are and support us with tough yet beneficial advice—listen intently! Our community can help guide us if we are willing to hear them fully, process their thoughts constructively, discern their perspectives objectively, and weigh our options carefully. By listening more than we talk about ourselves, being aware of our needs each day helps craft our ideas of self-happiness without making decisions based on expectations from others that could cause dissatisfaction in the long run.

Developing Healthy Boundaries

As a submissive wife, learning to set healthy boundaries is one of the most important steps you can take towards embracing your own happiness. Boundaries are not only necessary for maintaining self-respect, but also for protecting one’s heart and mind. With boundaries in place, you will be able to create the necessary limits you need in order to remain emotionally balanced and prioritize your own overall well-being.

Healthy boundaries involve being clear about what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from yourself and from your spouse. It is important to set realistic expectations for yourself, as well as from your husband. If boundaries are not communicated clearly, then it can be difficult to know when it’s time to take a step back or when it’s time to express direct needs.

Additionally, healthy boundaries often involve understanding the difference between being passive ‘yes’ people and having opinions that ultimately will benefit both parties—you and your husband included! If you feel as though others expect too much of you or if they ask something of you that makes you feel uncomfortable then trust your gut instinct and let them know through kind words what boundary they crossed.

At the same time however, don’t be afraid of staying firm in expressing these types of opinions even if it means speaking up against convention or tradition. Lastly, remember that displaying kindness does not mean having no limits—you have permission to politely decline invitations, requests or tasks that don’t serve as best for both spouses involved.

Discovering Your Passions and Pursuing Your Dreams

Are you tired of living a lukewarm Christian life, perhaps feeling like you are doing okay but not really living true joy and contentment? Maybe you have heard the term “submissive wife” or even tried to live it out but struggle with feeling like it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Or maybe you know in your heart that God wants something more from your marriage and from your life, but don’t know where to start.

The truth is, biblical submission does not equate to being a doormat nor does it mean sacrificing your hopes and dreams for those of another person. In fact, when you learn how to embrace self-love and actively pursue hobbies and environments that nourish our spirits, everyone around us benefits from the overflow of that renewed relationship with self — most importantly, our own Christian walk!

It can be hard for women — especially stay-at-home moms or those transitioning into entirely new lives — to get started on their passions. Most women don’t have a lot of extra energy at the end of the day (or any time during the day) between balancing families, marriages, full-time jobs, or volunteer commitments. However, if we make being creative a priority we can find ways around those roadblocks that never fail to stand in our ways.

Doing something creative or expanding yourself with learning doesn’t have to cost a fortune or become another obligation on an already overfilled plate; there are so many free learning materials available now (through YouTube channels and Instagram accounts) that teach us new skills such as hand lettering, painting & drawing techniques for beginners as well as cooking tips! There is no shortage of ideas when it comes to discovering your passion and pursuing your dreams. We only need little moments here and there to make big changes in our lives — so don’t let things like fear or lack of time keep you from tapping into that creative well!

Becoming a Better Christian

As a Christian woman, it can be hard to know just how to pursue your own happiness while striving to be a good Christian wife. We’ve all heard the myths of the “happy submissive wife”, but is that the only way to be a good Christian? Is it true that the only way to be a good Christian wife is to be submissive?

In this article, we’ll explore that idea and discuss how to become a better Christian while still pursuing our own happiness.

Moving Away from Lukewarm Christianity

I used to think being a lukewarm Christian was normal. I thought that if I followed the rules, didn’t cuss, prayed once in a while, and went to church a few times – that that was enough. I never stopped to think about how far away from the passionate Jesus we spin our stories around this watered-down version of Christianity. This “lukewarmness” isn’t God’s way for us and there are so many ways to move closer towards passionately following Jesus, using His teachings and example as our guide.

You don’t have to go from lukewarm Christianity to hardcore traditionalism overnight; it doesn’t work like that! Growth should always be mindful and intentional – it’s about moving forward not passing judgment on where you were yesterday. That could look different for everyone but here are a few simple tips for getting started:

  • Study scripture-Rather than just reading it from start to finish, why not look into what each section is saying? When something piques your interest or you don’t quite understand something, read up on commentaries written by scholars or well-known Bible teachers such as Craig Groeschel or Christine Caine
  • Pray often as you can: We’re called to have conversations with God; use prayer time as an opportunity for deeper reflection and seek guidance
  • Be in community: Try joining a small group at your local church which will make studying scripture easier & more fun with friends who share your faith
  • Read books specific to Christian living: Consider books written by those who have modeled their lives after Jesus such as Joy Dawson or Beth Moore

You may find its hard work at first – but don’t give up! You’ll want help along the way; talk things through with someone who loves Jesus & is also striving for growth in their faith journey too! As long we keep growing though our mistakes & learning how God fits into our lives we will all become better Christians together.

Growing in Your Faith and Understanding of God

Are you tired of being a lukewarm Christian? Do you want to become a better Christian and deepen your understanding and connection with God?

As Christians, we are called to learn and grow in our faith. It is important for us to study the Bible and learn what it means to be a good Christian. One area in particular that many of us struggle with is the concept of being a submissive wife according to the biblical definition.

Many women find this challenging, as it often looks like they are giving up their will, identity or rights within marriage. This misconception has led some women to make unhealthy decisions regarding their marriages, from neglecting themselves in order to please their husbands, to staying in an unhealthy marriage for fear of displeasing God.

The truth is that you don’t need to make these sacrifices when striving for holiness in your marriage; instead, you must look at how God views submission in a positive light as an act of service and honoring your husband as someone made in His image. As long as you prioritize God’s commands throughout your marriage and avoid submitting out of fear or fear-based “rules” imposed by partners or other authorities within Christianity, then everything else should follow naturally into respect of each other’s needs.

There exists an incredible power behind understanding godly submission; coupled with compassion and mutual respect, it can be truly transformative both spiritually and emotionally – allowing us to become more holistic Christians that understand how their faith influences daily living (like communication styles). We invite you to open yourself up more fully into looking at God’s Word on these issues so that you can become an even stronger witness for Christ!


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I hope that this article has helped to debunk the myth of the happy submissive wife. You don’t need to be a lukewarm Christian or follow outdated rules in order to be a good Christian wife. As I have said, the key to finding your own happiness is to do what works best for you and your family.

By focusing on your own spiritual growth, nurturing healthy relationships, and taking care of yourself, you will be able to pursue your own happiness and become a better Christian in the process.

Reflecting on the Journey to Pursuing Your Own Happiness

I hope this journey has been a productive one for you! Reflecting on the information provided here and learning the biblical meaning of being a submissive wife will only make you richer person. We’ve gone from clearing the misconception that being a submissive wife implies to be “happy” in everything to understanding we are our own agents of change, capable of creating lives fulfilling lives. Whether you have taken this journey as a single person or with your partner, my goal has been for all of us to go beyond the surface-level knowledge about what it means to be a good Christian and learn how to pursue our personal happiness.

From making changes in your routine to nurture your spiritual life to looking inwardly and addressing dissatisfactions in your relationship, we’ve explored various ways that can help us become better Christians and enhance our relationships. We’ve also taken into consideration how daily decisions influence how much attention we give to either ourselves or our partner — something that essential if you want to achieve balance in your home and life. At last, we discussed how finding joy within yourself is necessary if you great improve any relationship.

Now, it is time for you to put all this hard work into practice! Bearing in mind that there are lukewarm Christians among us who think they can please God simply by following rules and keeping up appearances — but not really delighting themselves in Him — remember: No matter where are on our journey towards freedom of soul and worshipful joy, these principles provide guidelines on seeking the complete manhood or womanhood He wants us all have acquire.

Celebrating the Joys of Being a Submissive Wife

As a submissive Christian wife, there is no reason to feel like you are short-changing yourself or settling for less than the life God has promised you. Rather than seeing submission as a heartbreaking burden, starting to view it as an opportunity to serve your husband and honor God can open your eyes to a whole world of joy and peace!

When true submission is practiced with God-given wisdom, it brings harmony in marriage. You become an invaluable partner and provide important support and encouragement to your husband. As you seek God’s kingdom first through prayer, scripture memorization, and studying the Bible daily, His grace will refresh and empower you; together with Christ at the center of your marriage and home, joy will flow freely in those walls. Being a submissive Christian wife can be an incredibly rewarding adventure that enlarges your spiritual vision even further!

Now more than ever before, it’s time to start embracing the idea that being submissive does not have to be synonymous with being unhappy or overburdened. Submission gives us back control over our lives by focusing on Jesus instead of our personal desires. Instead of being lukewarm Christians walking around in fear – we become better Christians when we understand that there is more to life than just our own individual needs; what’s even better is that we don’t have to wait until heaven for this realization when God can start fulfilling his promises right here right now!

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the myth of the happy submissive wife?

The myth of the happy submissive wife is a belief that a woman should be submissive to her husband and accept her role as a wife without questioning it. This belief can lead to women feeling disempowered and unable to pursue their own happiness.

How can I pursue my own happiness?

You can pursue your own happiness by being true to yourself and your beliefs. Don’t be afraid to challenge traditional gender roles and expectations. Pursue a career that you are passionate about and find ways to express yourself. Seek out relationships and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

How can I be a better Christian?

Being a better Christian involves studying scripture, developing a personal relationship with God, and reflecting on how to live your faith each day. It also involves living a life of humility and showing love and kindness to others. Finally, it involves actively working to make the world a better place.



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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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