Today was one of those days where my marriage was put through the test. I’ve mentioned how little bit of time Del has to settle down (next to none lately), and he has been on edge as a result. We have had to overcome many little things lately. When a person has very little time to do things that they want, they do become edgy to say the least. Plus a bunch of little things that normally don’t bother you tend to pile up… and one little thing can cause a person to explode in rage.
Today Del had to work on his day off YET again for the family business. Then he came home about 2pm (after being up at 6am with at max 4 hours worth of sleep for the umpteenth time) to have to rearrange our bedroom again to prepare for us getting new Internet. He still has to rearrange his office to be able to access the new net too before it arrives.
To top things off, the kids have been stubborn and not listening worth a dime lately. Jimmy has reached the stage of testing the boundaries of attitude zone. Zeva woke up sick as a dog and was so clingy that my hands were wrapped up with Zeva all day long, so there was little I could get done.
I decided to go into town to go to the grocery store to get something special for Del to fix for dinner. I let him decide on ANYTHING he wanted. Despite how tired Del was, he was happy about getting his special meal and plans of us being together tonight. I literally was daydreaming about a bunch of erotic things I could do to Del tonight once all the kids were in bed on the way to the store.
The raging storm of marriage began when I got to the store. They didn’t have what he wanted. He snapped big time. The sad fact was he wasn’t mad at me. He was just mad because lately, he’s been busting his tail end off, and EVERY time he goes to get something he wants for some reason it doesn’t pan out lately. I literally started to take all of his nasty lashing out personally.
Then I took some time to think about the fact that Del may have said things he didn’t mean because he was truly utterly upset, but I’ve been known to do the same exact thing when I’m upset. So, I couldn’t hold it against him that he did it. Plus I could feel his pain and frustration because if I were in his shoes, I would have felt it too.
Once he calmed down he did express what he is truly feeling. I accepted his apology and let him know that I do understand what he’s feeling. I know he felt bad for taking it out on me, but one thing about being as close as we are that does happen. We tend to hurt those we love the most because those are the people we are the most comfortable with. At least, he got to let loose his frustration and express how he has been feeling out loud. I don’t know if it helped a lot, but he is a lot happier right now. We’re enjoying our time together as a family relaxing.
Many times in marriage, we have to weather out some bad spells of storms to see how much it truly cleanses a marriage. When it happens, the marriage bond is usually stronger. As a wise woman stated to me once before: “If you don’t argue, then you really aren’t talking.” Sometimes you have to argue to get to the bottom of an issue.
Want to share some of the similar storms you’ve had to endure in your marriage and how it made you stronger as a result?
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