Today was one of those days when my marriage was put to the test. I’ve mentioned how little time Del has to settle down (next to none lately), and he has been on edge as a result. We have had to overcome many little things lately. When a person has very little time to do things that they want, they do become edgy, to say the least. Plus, a bunch of little things that normally don’t bother you tend to pile up… and one little thing can cause a person to explode in rage.
Today Del had to work on his day off YET again for the family business. Then he came home about 2 pm (after being up at 6 am with at max 4 hours worth of sleep for the umpteenth time) to have to rearrange our bedroom again to prepare for us getting new Internet. He still has to rearrange his office to be able to access the new net, too, before it arrives.
To top things off, the kids have been stubborn and not listening worth a dime lately. Jimmy has reached the stage of testing the boundaries of the attitude zone. Zeva woke up sick as a dog and was so clingy that my hands were wrapped up with Zeva all day, so there was little I could get done.
I went into town to go to the grocery store to get something special for Del to fix for dinner. I let him decide on ANYTHING he wanted. Despite Del’s tiredness, he was happy about getting his special meal and plans for us to be together tonight. I literally was daydreaming about a bunch of erotic things I could do to Del tonight once all the kids were in bed on the way to the store.
The raging storm of marriage began when I got to the store. They didn’t have what he wanted. He snapped big time. The sad fact was he wasn’t mad at me. He was just mad because lately, he’s been busting his tail end off, and EVERY time he goes to get something he wants, for some reason, it doesn’t pan out lately. I started to take all of his nasty lashings out personally.
Then I took some time to think that Del may have said things he didn’t mean because he was truly upset, but I’ve been known to do the same thing when I’m upset. So, I couldn’t hold it against him that he did it. Plus, I could feel his pain and frustration because I would have felt it if I were in his shoes.
Once he calmed down, he did express what he was truly feeling. I accepted his apology and told him I understood what he was feeling. I know he felt bad for taking it out on me, but one thing about being as close as we are is that it does happen. We tend to hurt those we love the most because those are the people we are the most comfortable with. At least he got to let loose his frustration and express how he has been feeling out loud. I don’t know if it helped a lot, but he is happier now. We’re enjoying our time together as a family relaxing.
In marriage, we often weather out some bad spells of storms to see how much it truly cleanses a marriage. When it happens, the marriage bond is usually stronger. As a wise woman told me, “If you don’t argue, then you really aren’t talking.” Sometimes you have to argue to get to the bottom of an issue.
Do you want to share some of the similar storms you’ve endured in your marriage and how they made you stronger?