If I Had Pulled The Trigger

I’ve shared with you my domestic abuse history many times over on here. However, I haven’t gone into the glory details. There was a night where my mom was being beaten up so intensely that I literally took a 22 rifle to the person beating her up and dared him to hit her one more time. I would have shot him had he lifted his hand to hit her one more time! If I had killed him, which I have a perfect aiming record when I’m angry with a 22 rifle, I would have been the one going to jail regardless of his faults and actions. My sentence may not have been as lengthy, but I still would have gone none the less.

There are plenty of times I think about the “what-if” moments from that night. Not in the way you think, but rather in an entirely different manner. I have always considered going into the women’s/teen prison ministry programs because of my experience with domestic abuse. Due to that strong desire, shows like Orange is the New Black, and now Wentworth off of Netflix holds my attention.

Photo credit: Ben King/ Foxtel Networks Australia


Orange is the New Black reeled me in completely. I loved learning about their lives. I knew many of the facts in this show were made up, but I’ve heard similar stories from others who had served time in prison. Orange is the New Black will still continue to be of interest to me, but I’m not eagerly awaiting its return like I am Wentworth. Honestly and sincerely it’s because Season 2 is filled with a lot more sex and other actions I didn’t enjoy watching.

With Wentworth those things were a part of the show in small bits, but not the primary focus of the show. The primary focus of the Wentworth series was based around the life of Bea, a woman who attempted to kill her husband who was physically beating her up. If I were honest, if my husband were to become abusive towards me he better count his days down because I will strike back when he least expects it too. This time I seriously doubt there would be any hesitation on pulling the trigger. (I know my kids would be well-taken care of by other family members if it came down to it.)

The sad fact is our prisons are filled with many people who have had to defend themselves or someone else for very similar reasons. I feel that the laws need to change for these types of situations. NOT that I’m saying they have the right to kill someone, but sometimes it’s a case of “killed or be killed.” Unless you’ve lived in this type of situation, you can’t fully appreciate and understand why this series holds so much appeal to me.

I believe many people would enjoy watching the Wentworth series for their personal reasons. There are plenty of twists and turns throughout this series. There have been some outcomes that I least expected to happen. I’m certainly on the edge of my seat waiting for the return of Season 3. I hope that Netflix can get Season 3 aired quickly. Wentworth originates as an Australian show on TV.

You can find out more information about Wentworth by visiting their website. You can also connect with them on Twitter and Facebook. You can watch Season 1&2 right now on Netflix.

Can you relate to my story? I’d love to hear your’s if you’re willing to share.

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix #StreamTeam, but that in no way shaped my opinion or thoughts related to this post.




Movie Reviews

Photo of author


I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

40 comments on “If I Had Pulled The Trigger”

  1. Oh I can’t wait to see this. I know the hubby will love it too since he is a Netflicks addict lol. I always empathise with victims of domestic violence. While no man has ever laid a hand on me, I can only imagine the rage it would produce and I a lot of people who suffer domestic violence often act and not think about the consequences. Awesome post!

    • I agree that in the moment it’s easy to act without thinking about the consequences for sure. Thank you for commenting.

    • Lux,
      I don’t really feel brave, but thank you so much for your kind words. I’m confident you’ll enjoy this series.

  2. I really like Orange is the New Black but had not heard of Wentworth. I guess I not what I’m adding to my Netflix list for while I’m at the gym!

  3. OITNB is one of my all-time favorite new shows. It is highly entertaining, funny, yet still manages to touch on very serious subjects in an amazing way.

  4. When I was a little girl, I thought that it was “normal” for daddies to beat mommies. I didn’t know anything different until I started spending the night at my girlfriends house that there could actually be love in a household. There were many many times that my brothers and I watched as my father beat our mother. If we said a word, or tried to help, he would beat us too.

    I hope that the shows that depict domestic violence can somehow help to deter it.

    • I am sorry to hear about your childhood. I lived through it for two years, I can’t imagine living through it for life. Thank you for sharing about your childhood with us and your opinion on the topic.
      I think domestic abuse awareness needs to be addressed a lot more. Of course, that’s one of the reasons why I’m writing posts like these.

  5. i’m intrigued to check this out. thank you for posting this. domestic violence is a cause and platform near and dear to my heart.

    • I am glad that you stopped by and commented. Since we share the passion of being concerned about domestic violence in our world, I’m confident you’ll enjoy Wentworth.

  6. Orange is the New Black reeled me in also. Seeing a life so different from my own is intriguing. I know there are so many “what if’s” and I’ve wondered about many scenarios for the characters.

    • I agree with you that there are many different possible scenarios. If you love OINB, I’m confident you’ll love Wentworth too.

  7. I’ve been in a household with emotional and mental abuse, and then physical abuse towards my mother by her “boyfriend”. I too had a moment similar to yours, and now that I’m older is why I believe every woman should know how to defend herself. Even against someone she thinks she loves.

    • Thank you for sharing your story with us too. I agree with you completely that women should know how to defend themselves.

    • Thank you for the supportive words. Both of these shows are good shows to watch. I do love Wentworth more because it doesn’t have as many things in it that I don’t like.

  8. Orange is the New Black really opened my eyes to prison life as well as how some people end up there. I cannot wait for the next season of it. I haven’t checked out Wentworth, but now I’m interested based on your post.

    • If you enjoyed OINB you will enjoy Wentworth for sure. I can totally understand what you mean about it opening your eyes. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

  9. I loved the Orange is New Black. It sucked me in as well. I have to agree with the others. You are a brave soul!! So sorry you had to go through that.

  10. I’ve never seen Orange is the New Black. We just recently signed back up for Netflix again, though, so I’ll be checking out an episode or two, at least.

  11. We don’t have Netflix and really want to start getting it to watch shows like Orange and Wentworth and others we hear about.

    • Netflix is very good. I personally enjoy watching more shows on Netflix than I do on TV now. If it wasn’t for a small handful of shows and UPTV & Hallmark movie channel I could live without Directv. If it’s gone, you evidentally you’d get use to not having it. Netflix streaming is a whole heck of a lot cheaper that’s for sure.

  12. I couldn’t imagine having to go through that type of experience as a child. even if you were a teen that isn’t a good place to be. I watched the first episode of Orange is the new black and it was a bit too much for me.

    • Avry,

      I can understand why you feel that OINB is a bit much. Wentworth wasn’t as intense as OINB and that’s why I like it so much. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

  13. First I am sorry you had to witness your mom being abused and that she suffered abuse in the first place. There is much too much of that and all too often when the woman speaks up she ends being victimized all over again. I had not heard of Wentworth but it seems like a show worth watching. I hope you follow your heart and go into prison ministry. These women need love, support and hope.

    • Thank you so much for your words of support.
      Wentworth is a show worth watching. There is some adult content in it that may cause some issues if you’re to sensitive to those kinds of things being shown. However, if you follow along with the storyline, it is very addicting.
      I would love to follow my heart and do the women prison ministry program. However, I have to get some ducks in a row first. You’re right they need lots of love, support and hope.

    • I’m so glad to have someone else say how much they love this series. I didn’t know it was based on a soap opera. I just found it on Netflix.

    • I can understand the fear taking over. It does happen, but there comes a point when the fear goes away and the anger sets in. I’m glad you’re out of it.

Leave a Comment