Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness month?? I honestly wasn’t aware of this little fact until a few days ago when I had the pleasure of attending a Twitter party about it.
It made me remember just how alone and frightened I was as a child dealing with a man who appeared on the outside as a loving, wonderful kind man, but behind closed doors, he was a living nightmare to live with. He was actually a “preacher” on Sundays throughout various churches. He literally made me sick!!
I couldn’t stand him the first time I met him, and for the life of me, I had no clue why. I learned very early on why I didn’t like him, not even three months after my Mom and I moved from Ohio to a VERY small town in SC with him. He became very controlling of my mom and accused her of all kinds of things since she worked the second shift. He started physically abusing her to the point that she would have many bruises on her.
He then decided that he had us both scared enough that he could sexually abuse me. He did it almost daily and in so many various ways. I do declare I learned so much about sex during those couple of years that it would probably amaze you. I was scared to say anything for fear that he would harm my mom. I became her protector in a sense. He didn’t abuse her as much after he started abusing me.
I had someone who was also involved in the crimes he committed against me report him to DSS, but I wasn’t confident enough to report him to the DSS lady because she pulled me out of class at school to talk to me about it. I was scared of what would happen if I said anything. I knew if I was to say something, my mom would be put in danger.
That’s the kicker with being a victim; they have to literally have timed their moves carefully!!! It’s not just a matter of safety for themselves, but it often times involves others as well that need to be protected. Plus a lot of people can’t understand why you just can’t walk out of a situation like that. The abusers tend to get very worse if you leave, and your life is put even further on the line when you leave the abuser. If you don’t have a good solid support system–who can protect you, literally HIDE you, and even provide financial support in some cases—you are scared of what will happen.
We left, but he came after us with a vengeance. Restraining orders made matters worse. There was very little that we could do to protect ourselves. I literally am alive today due to my horse being overly protective of me.
I’m not going to go into all the gory details of the hows and whys. However, I will tell you if you are being abused and are ready to make a move to get out of the situation, there is help out there. Start by looking up information on this website (suggestion: do it from a local library if you can get there) or have a friend/family member do research for your local area for you.
Don’t live in silent misery!