An Open Letter to the Husband Who Hurt Me

Writing this letter feels like a massive weight off my chest, a deep breath of fresh air that I’ve been too scared to take. I’ve wanted to tell you how I feel for a long time now, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. I’m unsure if you’ll care enough to read this, but I must put it out there. I must tell you how disappointed I am in how you’ve treated me.

Acknowledgment of pain

I’ll admit it – the pain I’ve experienced has been hard to comprehend. I have felt so broken, confused, and alone. Even though we have moved past our falling out, a part of me still harbors deep hurt and resentment. It’s only partly yours to own, but still, I need to acknowledge that screaming at you was wrong of me. Hurting you is not something I would ever want or choose in any circumstance, yet it happened, and for that, I am sorry.

Your words have left me feeling vulnerable many times before, and your actions have caused me immense pain. At times I was scared and insecure – so many wrong things done in the name of love, yet they just threw shrapnel into the deepest parts of my heart and soul. Even though there were times when it was tough for both of us, let’s remember one thing: love is stronger and can survive anything as long as we choose to keep going.

Reflection on relationship

Reflecting on our relationship, I feel heartbroken. Despite my love and dedication to you, it wasn’t enough in the end. It feels like I failed as your wife, but I know this wasn’t true.

For so long, we made each other laugh, shared special moments together, and allowed one another to grow as individuals. We both had our flaws and settled for compromises instead of working through them together. This allowed the pain to slowly build behind our walls until disconnection set in, and neither of us wanted to reconnect with each other anymore.

Certain words or phrases can have a lasting impact on us, no matter how small they may seem in the moment. Everyone experiences life differently and assuming that somebody feels the same way can be an extreme miscalculation if we don’t take the time to understand their perspective firsthand.

Regardless of how things ended between us, please know that my love for you still remains – regardless of what has happened between us – though it appears dead now and devoid of feeling, it will live on even when it doesn’t feel alive anymore within me; I will never forget everything you shared with me even when I fall short along this journey called life.

Expressing My Feelings

Disappointed wife sitting on her bed

As I sit here and reflect on the damage we have done to our relationship, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with emotion. With time, I have come to finally understand the mistakes we have made and the pain I have experienced because of your hurtful words and actions. I want to put my feelings into words, so here is my open letter to you.

Describing the hurt

The hurt I feel inside is complex—it comes in layers, and as I peel these layers away from myself, so do I peel away the layers of love hidden underneath. When I think of you and the pain you caused me, sadness swells in my chest. Every thought of you that should make me smile instead brings a swelling wave of grief, shame and humiliation because those were the weapons you chose to use on me.

The pain doesn’t always come in outbursts but rather in little moments where I least expect it — like when I’m scrolling through photos or watching a movie, my good memories suddenly replaced with terror and all the times that your words denied me belief in myself. These are newly minted scars crisscrossing over older ones until they become one big painful patchwork of hurt because they’ll never heal when all I’m offered is salt in their stead.

Your actions destroyed something beautiful that we had built together, something which threatened to fade even before we said goodbye — maybe this is why so often, as nights draw closer and twilight seeps through once again, forgotten memories will play relentlessly through their reels until finally, the morning sun casts its rays washing away our sins momentarily at least until eventual twilight draws close once again…reminding me not only of your cruelty but also the tenderness with which we sang lullabies into each other’s ears even before dawn knew us by name.

Explaining the impact of the hurt

My dear husband,

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the hurt I feel due to your words and actions. It took me some time to process the impact of your behavior and how it has made me feel. Before anything else, I want you to know that it’s okay not to be okay. I am a firm believer in growth and forgiveness, understanding and hope.

Your words were like a deep wound, slowly cutting through its edges with each letter you uttered until they finally reached my heart. You have been deeply hurtful toward what is most important to me: our relationship. Whenever something new is added on top of the mountain of pain that hangs between us, it weighs heavier and heavier on my chest. You have never taken responsibility for your faults or considered how they may have affected me emotionally.

I can’t sweep this away or make it magically disappear – as much as I wish I could just hit delete on everything said or done – because these wounds are long-lasting and take time to heal. Moreover, words often don’t do justice in expressing how somebody truly feels; things said can sometimes quiet down one’s heart even if their soul screams differently from within than without.

I realize now the weight of my expectations both from you and the world troubled me more than anything else did – further adding a burden upon our fragile connection, which had almost broken by then under its own massive strain before we knew it – however, these expectations were built upon false hopes from past experiences which shaped who we’d become today; still, no amount of logic will ever dismiss passion nor replace emotion felt towards one another since unspoken admiration goes beyond merely grasping thought into reality itself accompanied by much dread yet immense love intertwined in between all the while our tumultuous emotions helplessly curling up in each other’s arms filled with remorseful ardor locked behind broken windows hidden away underneath the shattered glass and too harsh talks whispered yet fading memories wishing away disintegrated hopes sundered into oblivion: nevermore…..(continued)

Taking Responsibility

As I look back on our relationship, I know our marriage was complicated and that there were times I hurt you and felt hurt. Today, I want to take responsibility for all the times I acted unfairly or out of hurt or anger.

When I reflect on our relationship, I can see I had a hand in contributing to the pain and confusion I felt. I’m sorry for my actions and my part in the pain we both experienced.

Acknowledging my part in the relationship

It is time for me to acknowledge my part in the relationship, my role in not meeting your needs, and for allowing myself to be treated poorly. I understand that I was an equal part of our interactions and take responsibility for what happened between us.

For a relationship to grow, both parties must take full accountability and ownership of their attitudes and actions without making excuses. When mistakes have been made, we must both be open enough to talk about them to learn from them and move forward.

I’m sorry that sometimes I didn’t give you the validation or respect you deserved as my husband. I believe it’s important that two people love each other respectfully, even when they disagree regarding decisions or issues. We must take responsibility for our choices to make everything work properly in a relationship.

In hindsight, there were definitely things I could have done differently if only I had taken the time or opened up communication more with you at those points where things felt off-balance or something was missing. It takes effort on both sides, though; I can’t ignore the reality of what happened between us – but by taking responsibility for my role and learning from this experience, perhaps it will bring closure and help me have healthier relationships in the future, whether romantic partnership or friendship based on mutual respect and understanding rather than manipulating a power dynamic.

Reflection on how I could have done better

When you hurt me, it felt like my world was falling apart. I held on to the hurt and pain for a long time, but I eventually understood that despite my mistakes, I also had to take responsibility for what happened. It was hard for me to do this at first, but looking back on the whole situation and its effect on us both, it has helped me enormously in my recovery.

I now realize that I could have chosen better in several ways. Instead of lashing out and pointing blame at you when things started to go wrong between us, I could have tried to communicate my feelings more calmly and assertively. Even if communication and arguing weren’t our strong points as a couple, having open conversations about problems would have probably solved them before they became unmanageable. I can see now that not talking through our issues only made things worse between us.

I’m also aware now that I should have paid better attention to warning signs of an unhealthy relationship early on instead of ignoring them or making excuses for why we were together in the first place. We could have faced these issues together or sought third-party help if we couldn’t find a solution ourselves rather than continuing an unhealthy trend.

It is ultimately your choice for how you behaved toward me, and you are responsible for the consequences of this behavior. Still, reflecting on how I could have done differently has been another part of my healing process. It has given me insight into myself and a chance to be kinder to myself in the future and consider how to create healthier relationships with people worthy of my trust and respect again down the line.


I write this letter with a heavy heart and full of regret. It’s been almost a year since I left you, since you hurt me, and our relationship turned sour, yet here I am, still trying to make sense of it all.

In the depths of my heart, I know that forgiving you will be a long, difficult journey. But I’m going to try; I’m going to try and forgive you because even though what you did was wrong, I still love you.

Releasing the pain

It’s taken me a while, but I’m finally ready to release the pain. Like a balloon soaring up into the sky, I have decided to free myself from the heaviness of my thoughts. Once weighed down and burdened by them, I will allow them to dissolve into thin air so that all that remains is a feeling of freedom, peace, and understanding.

The hurtful experiences you caused me slowly but surely blocked certain paths in my life and my heart. Whether intentional or not, these actions deposited pain within me, which would later prevent me from becoming my fullest self; they were like little cracks no amount of tape could end up. It was difficult to realize this damage was coming from someone who said they loved me – yes, some of the memories were tender moments shared between two people who were falling in love… However, these weren’t enough. With all that has transpired between us over time, I want to say goodbye once and for all by forgiving you for not cherishing or respecting our relationship: thank you for teaching me about boundaries and what it means for both sides to be genuinely loving toward one another.

Finally, freeing myself from your hurtful presence doesn’t mean I am forgetting the lessons I have learned; it simply means that I’m taking those lessons with me as I step through the door toward healing rather than facing them each day in constant sorrow. It’s been hard – no question about it- yet as I take this last leap into newfound freedom, an immense sense of gratitude accompanies me: thank you for helping shape what has become an even more resilient version of myself-a version recovered through strengthened self-love and respect worthy far beyond anything we ever had together.

Moving forward

I have realized that time and distance have allowed me to think more clearly, and I now know that I cannot move forward in my life while holding onto the hurt, bitterness, and wounds of the past. I refuse to be held back because of something already done. Instead, I choose to live in the present and focus on the things I have control over—my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.

At this stage, we can only reflect on our words, intentions, and actions from our past relationship. But at some point, both of us need to take responsibility for our part in creating this situation. For my part, I am sorry for any pain or suffering you went through due to our actions. To truly move on from this place in peace, we must forgive each other’s mistakes to find closure.

I understand that forgiveness can be hard, but when you choose to do it consciously, and with an open heart, you are breaking away from old habits of fear and anger; You are opening up new growth opportunities—both emotionally and spiritually—for yourself as well as relationship dynamics with those around you from now on.

Though what is done cannot be undone, forgiveness allows us both to start on a new path together—one full of understanding instead of lingering resentment or bitterness; One where compassion can come first before learning from mistakes; One where love becomes unconditional instead of being tied down by pain from the past; A path filled with mutual respect which leads towards healthier relationships with everyone who comes into your life along the way.


After all these years, this is my goodbye. I’m finally letting go of the pain haunting me all these years. I’ve accepted the truth, and now I’m ready to heal. I’m ready to move on and focus on myself and my future. I’m ready to forgive and forget.

Today marks the end of this journey, and I’m proud of how far I have come.

Recognizing the importance of the journey

As I finally accepted, the most important journey I had to embark on was the one within myself. Throughout our time together, I had my own wishes and needs to be ignored as I always put your wishes first. For years, I felt like nothing would make me happy, no matter what I did. The truth is that all along, you were expecting me to make myself happy – something that I could never do by trying to please someone else.

You showed me that it’s possible to really feel and express my emotions without fear of judgment or rejection. You taught me how it feels when somebody accepts me for who I am – flaws included – and loves me beyond my capacity to understand at the time. These lessons will stay with me forever and carry on into whatever relationships lie ahead.

Most importantly, you helped me understand that even though we shared a part of our lives together, it doesn’t mean that your happiness is connected to my own in any way, shape, or form. My feelings and needs matter just as much as yours, if not more so, and they should always be considered carefully when making decisions within our relationship. Moving on from this experience with open arms allows us both the freedom to love each other without expectation or obligation – which we both desperately needed at the time.

I thank you for all who you are and all that you’ve given me over the course of our relationship, although it may not always be clear through hindsight why things unfolded as they did for us both to grow into better versions of ourselves today; recognizing this importance of the journey makes our goodbye much easier now than ever before.

Finding peace and closure

A Lonely Wifes Letter to Her Husband

After this tremendous journey of getting to know my inner self and discovering an extensive amount of pain, I can confidently write that I am on the path to finding peace and closure. Throughout this process, I allowed myself to open up about all emotions that surface when I think about how much I felt hurt over the years. While it was hard for me to accept the truth – that is, that your behavior not only greatly affected me but also tormented our relationship – it was empowering for me to let myself feel the frustration and hurt you caused.

In recent months, I have felt a great sense of inner growth stemming from confronting my hurtful memories of you and delving deeper into what those experiences were really teaching me. When we both recently dared to sit down and talk honestly with each other, it enabled us to metaphorically lay down a few bridges so we can have honest conversations in the future, specifically centering around our healing processes.

I value our ability to develop a sense of understanding between each other – one rooted in patient understanding and conversation rather than denial or avoidance – as it opens endless doors for peace and closure. This means finally allowing ourselves time, space, and grace as we work through all wounds caused by our past relationship while simultaneously forgiving each other so we can forge ahead in different but connected paths unique to us both.




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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