Leaving the Past Behind: A Guide to Moving On from Someone You Love Who Hurt You

Are you ready to take the leap and move on from someone you love who hurt you? If you’re feeling a mixture of scared and excited at the prospect, don’t worry; you’re not alone! This guide is filled with practical tips and advice that will help you let go of your past and start fresh with a clean slate. I’ve been there, so I get it, and I’m here to help! Let’s get started.

Acknowledge the pain

It can be hard to make the decision to move on from someone you loved who hurt you. You might feel like you should stick with your relationship, put in more time and effort, or even forgive them for the pain that they have caused you. The truth is that you don’t owe anyone your loyalty, and when it becomes apparent that a relationship isn’t worth the pain it causes, it’s time to start thinking about taking a step back from them.

I know moving on can be hard – I have been through my own period of healing after being hurt by someone I loved – but holding onto resentment and clinging to what was isn’t going to make it any easier. Acknowledge the pain that you’re feeling, understand that your feelings are valid, and give yourself space to work through them. And remember: You are so much stronger than this pain, and it’s okay to let go of what was, no matter how much you wish things had turned out differently.

Recognize the importance of letting go

a girl holding balloons

I understand that it may seem impossible to look beyond the pain and suffering you have endured at the hands of someone you love. But it’s important to remember that sometimes we must let go if we ever want to heal. The end of a relationship with someone you still care about can be one of life’s most difficult experiences, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and liberation.

This guide will help you recognize when it is time to cut ties with someone who has hurt you, as well as how to do so in a healthy, supportive way. We will explore why moving on can be beneficial, both mentally and emotionally, as well as offer some useful advice on how to move forward. Finally, I’ll provide resources where you can find additional support and information about healing from emotional pain.

You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle of guilt or sadness. It’s time for new beginnings—let’s get the ball rolling!

Understanding the Hurt

It can be difficult to understand the hurt that comes with being let down and hurt by someone you love. Going through this kind of pain can leave us feeling lost and desperate for answers.

This guide will help you move forward from the hurt and pain caused by someone you love who let you down. We will focus on understanding your hurt, and how to practice self-love to move on from it.

Acknowledge the hurt and the pain

It can be overwhelming when you realize the hurt someone has inflicted on you. At times like this, it’s easy to feel like the pain won’t ever go away and that it’s all your fault. But first things first: You must acknowledge just how badly you were hurt and its very real effects in your life.

This is so hard to do, because when someone we love hurts us, our minds automatically go into protection mode and we immediately seek out coping mechanisms to help ease the pain—whether that’s self-medicating with alcohol, drugs or food; forming walls around us so nothing else can get hurtful; or internalizing the message so as not to feel anything anymore—it can feel impossible to accept reality. But it needs to be done if we’re ever going to move on from this situation.

Acknowledge the pain instead of denying it—it was real even if there were misunderstandings along the way—and allow yourself some much deserved self-compassion during this healing process. It will take time, effort, energy and courage more than anything else before you find yourself free of these emotions, but if you truly commit yourself, then progress will come faster than you expect!

Identify the source of the pain

Identifying the source of the pain that you’re feeling after being hurt by someone you love can be incredibly difficult. The truth is, often our biggest hurts can stem from a combination of different sources. Dreams and expectations for our relationship were let down by their words or actions, unmet needs may have been revealed, and core beliefs about ourselves may have been challenged.

No matter what kind of pain you’re dealing with, it is important to take some time to sit with the emotions that come up before attempting to heal them. In order to let go and move forward from this hurt, it is essential to understand what was at the root of your pain in the first place.

When trying to identify where this emotional discomfort originated from, there are three key questions I recommend answering:

  • How did your expectations for this person or relationship not align with reality?
  • What needs went unmet during that time?
  • How did their behavior make you question yourself?

Answering these penetrating questions will help give clarity as you work towards learning from experiences and releasing whatever emotional tensions might be standing in the way of embracing a more positive outlook in the future.

Understand the different types of hurt

Hurt can come in all shapes and sizes, so it’s important to understand the difference between surface level pain and deep-rooted hurt. Understanding this can help you move on from a loved one who has hurt you.

Surface-level hurt is typically the kind of pain that is caused by situational things, like a disagreement or tension between you and someone else. It’s often easy to look past because you know that it’s not rooted in anything deeper than what happened in the moment. It’s not out of love for the person that caused the hurt, but rather out of respect for yourself and your own personal boundaries.

Deep-rooted hurt is more consequential than surface-level hurts; it comes from when a person has violated your trust or taken advantage of or intimidated you, or if someone you allowed into your heart and life reveals who they truly are through their words or actions – causing pain with long-lasting consequences which may take years to heal from. It can be especially difficult to let go after experiencing deep rooted hurt as it aligns with letting go of a person we deeply cared about and wanted things with to work out differently.

No matter how deeply entrenched our feelings are in trauma, understanding these two different kinds of hurt can help us make sense of our journey towards healing so that we can eventually move forward in life without being held back by negative feelings towards anyone who has ever wronged us – even if they were people we deeply loved at one time.

Recognizing the Impact

The single most important step on your journey of moving on from someone you love who hurt you is to recognize the impact it has had on you. It can be hard to admit that someone we care about deeply has hurt us, and recognizing the impact of the pain is the essential first step to getting over it. Even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done, once you can recognize it, you can start to heal.

Acknowledge the impact of the hurt

In order to move on from someone you love who hurt you, it’s important to recognize and acknowledge the impact of their actions. Can you remember a time when the pain felt unbearable? Acknowledge the offense on all levels: mental, emotional, and physical. As one grief expert put it, “Until we risk feeling what we least want to feel -feeling our pain- there can be no true understanding of our grievances.”

It’s crucial to allow yourself to feel the pain of what happened instead of pushing it away or trying to numb or ignore it. This takes courage, but by pushing away or numbing your feelings, you are preventing yourself from learning how to most effectively cope with them in ways that support long-term healing and growth.

When painful emotions arise, practice allowing them into your body by turning your attention inward and noticing where they seem concentrated or how they manifest in your physical sensations. You can practice labeling what each sensation is – “this is tightness…this is burning…” – as a way of validating them without getting lost in telling yourself stories about why they’re there. This strengthens your ability to stay present with them without slipping into rumination so that even though the feelings are intense, become more manageable over time.

You don’t have to remain stuck here forever; over time, the intensity will lessen and more moments will come when a sense of peace arises naturally within you. The recognition process allows for that healing journey at its own pace as well as offers you insight into yourself and how this experience has influenced who you have become in this moment. When we truly acknowledge our past, we free ourselves from being bound by it so that we can live fully in our present with an open heart and connecting with ourselves along the way.

Identify the emotions associated with the hurt

Feelings of hurt, anger, and sadness are normal when someone you love has caused you harm. It is important to recognize those emotions and spend time expressing them in healthy ways. This can include talking with friends or a therapist, journaling your thoughts or engaging in activities that help to release difficult emotions like yoga or painting.

It is also important to distance yourself from the person who hurt you if possible. This will help to prevent them from doing more harm and will give you some space as you recover emotionally. If possible, cut off communication with the person or limit contact so that it is only necessary.

Although these actions can be difficult, they’re a key step towards healing since they provide an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Spend time reflecting on what happened and think about how this experience will shape the way you handle future relationships. Also, identify the extent to which it may be affecting your life currently – such as feelings of fear, resentment or self-doubt – before moving forward with more proactive approaches for regaining power over your life and relationships.

Understand the importance of self-care

Moving on from someone you love who has hurt you is no easy task, and it involves a lot of emotional and physical investment in yourself. Self-care is an essential part of the process; it helps us to reconnect with ourselves and process our feelings so that we can find a sense of closure and move forward.

Self-care is the practice of actively taking care of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, so that you can live your life in a balanced and fulfilling way. Recognizing our worth will help to guide us on this journey. Taking time to meditate, engage in positive self-talk, prioritize self-love activities like exercise or journaling; these simple tasks will all aid to properly take care of ourselves in times when we are dealing with difficult feelings.

Here are some more key points to keep in mind:

  • Make sure to take breaks when needed (whether it be for 5 minutes or 5 days). It’s important not to overwhelm yourself by attempting to reclaim your power all at once. Pace yourself!
  • Prioritize getting enough sleep! Maintaining good sleeping habits will help ensure that you start every day well rested—essential for feeling more capable as you take on life’s difficult moments.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people who recognize your needs as well as provide left space when necessary. Having friends who understand what you’re going through can make an immense difference on how quickly or effectively the process unfolds.

Just remember: you are strong enough; You are powerful enough; You are capable enough—of healing yourself through taking good care at each step along the journey!

Moving On

Moving on from someone you love who has hurt you can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. It takes time, effort, and courage. But, it’s not impossible. It’s totally possible to let go of the hurt and move on.

Let’s learn more about it together:

Acknowledge that you can’t change the past

It can be difficult to accept that you cannot change the past. It can be even harder when it comes to letting go of someone you love who hurt you. We are all human and our emotions can get the better of us sometimes. In order to truly move on and leave the past behind, it is important to acknowledge that we are powerless over our history.

While there may have been decisions you would have made differently in hindsight, accepting that we cannot control things that have already happened and continuing to look ahead towards a bright future is necessary if we want to move on from painful experiences in life.

Recognizing that the past cannot be changed requires facing our own limitations—and for many of us, this can feel like a tall order. It asks us to accept that some of our wounds will never fully heal and come to terms with a sense of loss for what might have been (or what could have been).

This process does not automatically lead us into acceptance—it is often accompanied by grief, anguish, guilt or regret as we grapple with all these uncomfortable emotions associated with saying goodbye to hurtful memories from long ago. But once we face up to these realizations, then we are able to give ourselves an opportunity for something new—we start creating a more powerful narrative which focuses on healing and reconciliation rather than staying stuck in self-defeating loops ruminating over wounds from the past.

By acknowledging that there may be moments in life where we don’t have control–times where things just happen no matter how hard one tries–we begin to learn how to create further resilience as we proceed forward by focusing on our strengths and possibilities so that whatever lies ahead is approached with confidence and optimism instead of frailty and fearfulness.

Focus on the present and the future

I know it’s hard to think about anything other than the pain you may feel right now, but it’s important to try to focus on the present and the future. Start by making small changes within yourself to get ready for what comes next. For example, make sure you’re getting enough sleep and practice mindfulness every day. This can help you refocus your energy on more productive activities like exercise and meditation.

Another way to focus on the present is to write down three positive things that happened during each day. It might not seem like much, but by breaking away from old thought patterns that keep us mired in our pasts can be immensely helpful if we’re trying to move forward with our lives.

In addition, try to create new experiences or indulging in small pleasures as a way of looking forward rather than backward. Taking some time each day just for yourself—whether it’s listening to music while walking through a park or exploring art galleries—will not only help you build a sense of joy in your life but will create new positive experiences that will pull your attention away from negative emotions associated with the past.

Finally, surround yourself with people who support your journey into the present and future; this could include friends, family members or trusted professionals who can offer supportive activities or advice when things get tough. Although it won’t heal all wounds, surrounding ourselves with those who’ve been there before or can simply listen without judgement can make a big difference in how well we manage any situation we’re facing.

Take steps to heal and move forward

It’s now time to take some steps to heal and move forward. It can be difficult, but it is possible to move on from a situation where someone you love hurt you.

The first step is to forgive yourself and excuse them. This doesn’t mean that you should forget what happened or let them off the hook, but it means that you can begin to let go of the pain and start taking care of yourself. You don’t need to give them more space in your head and heart – it’s time for healing for you now!

Now, find ways to nurture yourself in small steps every day. Perhaps some calming music when working or studying, dance classes for an hour a week, spending an evening with friends – do something that makes you feel happy and healthy each day. Spend time doing activities that make your inner self thrive, such as reading inspiring books or writing a journal.

You may also want to talk about what happened with family members or friends who can listen without judgement and support your decision of leaving the situation behind (if appropriate). Ultimately, take advantage of this personal journey as an empowering opportunity so that one day – hopefully soon-you will be strong enough to move on!


In conclusion, sometimes it can take a great deal of effort to move on from someone you love who hurt you. It takes courage and strength to forgive, and to leave the past behind. However, in the end, it is worth taking the necessary steps to create a life for yourself that is filled with love, joy and freedom.

As the saying goes, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. You can do it!

Reflect on the journey

Let’s pause for a moment and applaud the monumental effort you have just made in your journey to move on from someone you love who hurt you. It’s not easy, but the rewards of getting to emotionally free yourself can be incredibly rewarding.

As we reflect on this journey, remember the valuable lessons and insights that you have gathered along the way. Take time to acknowledge your commitment to personal growth and healing, as this could be where a lot of strength comes from.

Keep in mind that every day is a new opportunity to continue applying what you have learned on how to manage situations better, be better at nurturing relationships and, most importantly, how to love yourself even more! In feeling and accepting these emotions, use them as fuel and leverage them for further inner work regarding developing self-love, rebuilding boundaries, revisiting confidence issues and more deep shadow work.

Your bravery is commendable! You are doing an amazing job so far – trust that if you continue with such resolve, there is no doubt it will lead us all towards greater understanding of ourselves and those around us!

Embrace the process of healing

This is possibly the most important step in mastering the art of moving on from someone you love who hurt you. This process can be difficult, and it’ll take time – but your growth is worth it.

The first step is to recognize that the pain is real, and that you deserve to grieve for what’s happened. Healing will come through validating your emotions and the reality of your past. Allow yourself to express how you feel, whether through talking with a trusted friend or counselor, journaling, meditating or exploring creative pursuits like painting or photography. Share your feelings with others who understand, so that you don’t stay stuck in a cycle of shame and guilt.

Grief can move from heavy sadness to moments of joy in no time; these are all genuine emotions – feel them without judgement and know that it’s okay not to be okay as long as you stay mindful about how to continue your healing journey step by step. Taking care of yourself through self-care practices is also essential; stay active physically (exercise), become more mindful by connecting with nature or a spiritual practice, eat healthy foods and remain open-minded towards new experiences.

You will ultimately gain strength when processing the pain rather than pushing it away; it’s easier said than done but hold on to hope! Be bold enough to confront the dark corners of your mind while remembering that this doesn’t define who you are; whatever has been said or done – life is meant to be lived! Prepare for a brighter future by nurturing yourself today! Your newfound sense of self will light up every day with newfound courage and newfound hope as you keep creating space for growth each day!

Celebrate the freedom of moving on

a woman in the woods

After making the decision to move on from someone you love who hurt you, it’s time to celebrate your newfound sense of freedom. It’s not just about the person – it’s about the relationship, and embracing new opportunities and experiences now that you have a clear head and open heart.

Consider how much lighter your life is without the extra stress and drama that a toxic relationship brings. Start by recognizing all of your positive traits that made you special before meeting them, as it will empower you to take steps toward focusing on yourself once again instead of trying to fix others. Celebrate who you are by picking up an old hobby or dedicating more time to self-care – do things that make you feel happy and fulfilled!

Take comfort in knowing that even if the person never realizes what they did wrong in the past, their actions and words don’t define who you are today. Allowing yourself to feel joy is a sign of strength. Be kinder to yourself through this process – forgive yourself for anything done in past relationships and realize your worth has likely grown due to understanding boundaries better now than ever before. Lastly, when ready, look for opportunities awaiting outside of what once was familiar!



Mental Health

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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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