It is my mission to do everything I can to inspire everyone to save their marriages as much as they can. I have lived through my parents getting divorced multiple times and then I got divorced twice myself. I know the impact divorce has on those who go through it and the lives of kids involved. I also know there are times when a divorce needs to happen.
However, I also believe in the power of prayer and the power of love. Sometimes it takes a separation in order for a marriage to get rekindled or survive. I honestly probably would have NEVER went through a single divorce had I married Del the first time like I was going to do. Instead of waiting and trusting in God’s plan for our lives, I decided to take matters into my own hands and marry two other people.
While reading the book Every Reason to Leave: And Why We Chose to Stay Together, I couldn’t help but feel like this couples marriage was very similar to my relationship with Del. Del and I have played the yo-yo game throughout our 20 year relationship. I cheated on him numerous times. I wasn’t ready to be the type of wife that I knew he deserved. Del had anger issues. Together we were a volatile mess. We are as polar opposites as they come.
Vicki Rose and her husband, Billy, are also polar opposites. They both made terrible decisions with their lives. They hurt each other in many different ways. They ended up getting separated. They weren’t separated for a short period of time either. They were separated for YEARS! During their separation period they did both date other people….UNTIL Vicki found the Lord.
Then everything changed! Vicki built a relationship with God. She got to know him and made sure her relationship was right with him. She prayed for a change to take place in her marriage and in HER first. She did pray for her husband too. God worked miracles in each of them and in their marriage.
Before You Leave Your Marriage
Before you knock this whole concept and idea, let me tell you I’ve lived this with my husband. I’ve been the one who has tried to run from relationships over half my life. Yes, that includes my relationship with God. I can always tell when I’m right with my walk with God because my relationships improve.
By praying to God and putting God as the center of your marriage, you’re letting him have control over it. That’s the way it should be done. This book is a great example of how much a difference God can make in your life and in your relationships.
Marriage is never easy. In fact there are times when it feels like it’s totally utterly helpless and there’s nothing left to do to fix it. I don’t want anyone to stay in a marriage where there is physical abuse! Speaking from experience if other types of abuse are happening, there are resources to help with making those issues go away. (However, to be honest, a separation may still be in order!)
You can buy Every Reason to Leave & Why We Chose To Stay Together on Amazon now. It’s worth every penny if you’re wanting to gain some inspiration to get you through the hard times of your marriage.
Let’s give each other some inspiration.
What has been one of the hardest things you’ve had to go through with your spouse?
25 comments on “When You Have Every Reason to Leave Your Marriage”
The hardest thing in my divorce was losing my best friend. We still loved each other deeply when we divorced, which was great from a legal perspective since it was easy, but super hard to break ties. It took a couple of years and I had to move away.
I can relate to that issue. I miss my friendship that I had with my first husband too. I don’t miss the actual relationship as husband and wife, but we made awesome friends.
It’s true! Lots of things in our world, including marriage and friendships with ourselves and others would be much better off if more people valued being right with God and made it as much of a priority as eating, drinking or breathing.
They honestly should since he is the creator of our world and really in charge of everything.
I always thank god every day for my marriage. I met him when I was 19 and we have never even came close to wanting to be away from each other for even a day! 39 Years later….we are still madly in love. I pray with thanks each and every day. Great article I know some folks who need to read this!
I appreciate the support. Congrats on picking an amazing man the first time and staying together 39 years in this world today.
Very powerful. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you. Del and I have conquered a lot together.
I just got married so I’m not really trying to think about this ever, but it’s good to know these things are out there should I ever need them.
It’s always good to have a list of marriage resources on hand.
Marriage is hard work. After 10 years, I find that I need to make sure we make time to be alone together. Having small children complicates this.
Tell me about it! Del and I can’t hardly get a full conversation out without being interrupted at least 10-30 times in one form or fashion. We make it a point to have date nights in after the kids go to bed one to two nights a week at least.
I thank God my husband and I have not crossed this bridge. I do know from my own parents how difficult relationships can be and liked this post a lot. You hit it on the nail !
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I’m so glad to hear that you haven’t had to cross any hard bridges with your husband.
Keeping the lines of communication open can be an issue sometimes, especially when the subject matter is touchy. It’s so important though!
That is so true. When we shower our spouses with love with really gain a whole lot from them.
The best thing that ever happened to my marriage was me leaving my husband for a period of time. I was giving, giving, and giving, and excepting instead of standing up for myself. My husband did a lot of changing in that period and we are now stronger and a better couple then I ever thought we could be. Marriage is definitely hard work.
Sometimes it does take a separation in order to bring a couple closer because they are reminded why they fell in love to begin with. I’m glad to hear that you both didn’t give up completely and are together now.
Marriage is hard work. I almost left around year 10 but my pastor’s wife made me go home and deal with the issues. I’m glad she did! This weekend we will celebrate 23 years of marriage.
I’m so glad to hear that you and him stuck it out. It sounds like your pastor’s wife is a wise woman.
What a great article filled with the REAL of marriage. I praise God that my husband and I fought through our own struggles and survived some really dark times. But within the fight, we discovered a stronger love we never imagined possible– thanks for your sincere love for helping others– it shines through every post.
The hardest thing we’ve had to endure in our marriage were deaths on both sides of the family within days of each other. We were mourning our losses separately and it was really challenging trying to support one another while we were each devastated. Thankfully, it became easier with time but it’s still such a dark spot in our lives.
Now that is something I can’t imagine doing! Del was such a great support system for me when my Mom died. He literally did all the hard manual work in a matter of a few days. I just was to stunned even though I knew it was coming.
I’m impressed that you both have gone through that together!!
Sounds like a book I need to pick up and read. I left my first husband. We had been together 10 years and it just got to point where I felt he deserved better. I left my life and my best friend. Moved 1600 miles away because I couldn’t handle the fact I had hurt him and ruined my life. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I had a support system to help me through the hard times so I didn’t run. However, we have both moved on and he’s happy now. I am now on marriage #2 and it’s a struggle.
Marriage is a struggle when couples don’t take the time to work through their issues together in a positive manner. That’s not always easy to do, but it’s vital to success. I know when Del and I first got married we fought like cats and dogs! That first year of marriage was HELL. However, now I can say that we’ve gotten through the rocky stages and we have a well oiled relationship now. We know what the other wants most of the time and we respect and love one another. It’s not always a bed of roses, but I definitely can hang onto the rose petals during our hard times now.
I have listed off a whole bunch of awesome resources for marriage in my blogs on marriage. I hope you’re husband is working with you on making it work.