I know you thought I was going to talk about another woman, but my wife says I’m cheating on her with my video games. Does that make my video game my mistresses or my love? So we determined that they were my mistresses because she “wife” is the only thing that I love completely.
Since the Destiny game has come out I have been playing as long as I possibly can. I have literally been staying up really late playing and then shortly after I get up in the morning, I go back to playing the game. I now tell Crystal that I’m going back to “my mistresses.”
That brought up the topic of how much I love my game playing and her love of blogging and the amount of time we spend on our hobbies verses the family. I know many husbands get the right act handed to them for their love of video games. I wanted to share some of the things have helped in our marriage.
The Secret of Having Your Mistresses is Balance
First off, when I dated Crystal she knew I loved video games. When we first started dating she was very big into riding horses. So, while she rode I would play video games. When we were together on dates, I didn’t do anything with my video games. She knew though that it was a very important part of my life just like riding was for her. I do firmly believe the fact that she had a hobby helped me out a LOT.
That brings up two tips right away:
- Have them get involved with your hobby in some form
- Encourage them to get involved in a hobby they love.
After having kids Crystal had to give up horses. She didn’t have a hobby of any kind. I supported her on every endeavor she tried from selling various items to learning a new skill until she picked up blogging. Now she has her blogging that is not only a hobby for her, but blogging has also grown into a huge source of income for us too.
Now that we both have our hobbies though, we have to be mindful of the time we spend doing them. That is the tricky aspect of being a person involved with a hobby like video gaming. Especially when you take into account that there are MANY times that I’m involved with a section of a game and I can’t just stop and give her my full attention when she wants/needs it unless I am willing to risk losing possibly hours’ worth of game time that I’ve invested in it. For Crystal, that took a long time for her to wrap her head around that concept (that is: until she got involved in playing video games herself.)
We have set date nights each week. We go through the new shows every season that come on TV and determine what shows we are going to watch each week together and then pick out two days a week to watch them together. Plus lately before we call it a night we spend about an hour to two hours watching shows off of Netflix together. We maintain our closeness thanks to these date nights.
As far as the kids are concerned, I make sure that I spend time with them either by playing video games with them from time to time or they come join me in the man cave watching me play. Plus we have family outings (when I’m physically strong enough—which isn’t often lately) at least once a month. Plus we do normally pick out some family movies to watch together each week too. I’m also very active in helping to raise them too.
Men it’s okay to have a strong love of video gaming. I know I have had it all of my life, but having it and a family just means I have to prioritize my down time according to what is the most important to me.
What is your secret to having your mistresses? (Ladies, that includes your hobbies too.)