I’m doing the Blog Dare that gives me prompts for everyday of December. To me it’s been quite a challenge to say the least. Not because of the writing involved, but more because I feel like I’m exposing my soul to the world now.
When the doctor said… prompt has actually stirred up many different memories for me. I honestly don’t know which one I want to start with. So, if it feels like I’m all over the place, I apologize now for it. Again, I’ve been treating these blog posts like those Five Minute Friday posts because I do want to let you into my dark places because that’s really the true reason why this blog was created. If I go back and spend too much time editing then I tend to erase far more than I keep.
I feel God literally pushing me out of my comfort zone for a strong reason, and I don’t why that reason is in place. I just know it’s there. I hope that someone somewhere gains something from me sharing my experiences.
In my lifetime, I’ve endured many life altering experiences. The first one was dealing with my sexual abuse. I can remember going to my physical for my abuse case, and having the doctor sit my Mom and I down. The doctor advised us both that due to my physical/sexual abuse damage that I’d never have any kids. I was in my teens and LOVED kids. I literally spent my summers as a lifeguard at our local pool. All summer long I was basically a glorified babysitter to well over a hundred kids all summer long. The kids and I had a wonderful relationship from the youngest to the oldest.
I was honestly quite upset over the whole ordeal. I wanted a house full of kids. I honestly and truly had big plans of having 7 kids with Del. However, I didn’t marry him as planned when I was 18. Every last one of my pregnancies were hell on Earth for me! I didn’t think I was going to survive any of them.
In fact, that leads me to the second big news I got from my doctor…. When the doctor said..
While I was pregnant with my first-born, the doctor advised me that I would be lucky if her and I survived it. He also advised me to never get pregnant again. Considering it I never got pregnant despite all the times I should have been pregnant, I didn’t put much thought into birth control or protection. So, I did nothing to prevent it from happening. I was on birth control, but not to protect against getting pregnant. I needed it to regulate my cycle.
Well, when my second husband and I separated I didn’t care what my cycle was like, so I went off birth control. Del and I ended up pregnant with Delbert unexpectedly because I was pregnant for months and didn’t even know it. Once he made his solid announcement he kicked my butt in the final months. However, my pregnancy with him was rather easy. It was just his delivery that was a pain in the behind.
Then I ended up pregnant with Zeva four years later, after literally begging and pleading with God to bless us with a little girl. I wanted a girl from Del so bad I was willing to risk my life for it. My pregnancy with her was anything but easy, but she is well worth all of it even if she is my Fuss Box.
When the doctor said…
In 2006, I was involved in a serious car accident that crushed my right ankle and my middle left finger. The doctor told me that I’ll never walk again. I looked at him like he was on crack and informed him that he was WRONG! I told him flat out, “If you think that then you don’t know me to well.” He stated, I’m the doctor not you. I laughed. I was walking in the oddest of forms within four months. Learning to walk again as an adult is one very complicated thing to do!
I can now jog, but I still haven’t conquered running. That probably has to do more with my vanity about how I look when I do it than with physically being able to do it. I literally feel like Forest Gump when I try to run. However, I do miss running with a passion. I use to run a lot when I was a kid growing up. I can remember running up and down my dirt road to blow off steam from being so upset over something my step-father did. One day, I do hope to over this hurdle and run again completely.
When the doctor said…
In November of 2009, my Mom requested that I go to the doctor with her to get her latest doctor report. We went into the room together. The doctor told her that her cancer had never been completely removed from her thyroid because they couldn’t get it all from her surgery. Now it had grown again, and this time no amount of surgery would ever remove it completely.
She had the option of going through chemo again to prolong her life, but there was no guarantee how long she had left even with chemo. My Mom laughed at him, and told him she is a nurse. She knew what that really meant. She also had gone through this similar process with her own Mother and her belated husband. She told me and the doctor point-blank,…”I want quality over quantity. I’m ready to die when my Maker sees fit to take me.”
That was the hardest doctors office visit for me. It was hard to not cry while we were there and while we were together. It was even harder to visit her while watching her health deteriorate right before my eyes. The funny thing is I didn’t cry about cancer taking her away from me until two years AFTER her death. It took a movie to bring it all out of me.
We all have those moments of when the doctor said.. that have shaped our lives in one form or another. Many of us don’t choose to talk about them. Sometimes we try to ignore those life altering suggestions that the doctor gives us. Yet, we really shouldn’t.
What is your “when the doctor said…” moment? (If you’re willing to share that is.)