I have stressed numerous times that I am a HUGE fan of the Love and Respect for Couples! I was super eager to get my hands on the Love and Respect in the Family book from Booksneeze because it had been on my list of to be read for quite some time now.
I gobbled up this book hoping to find the answers to how to deal with this ever growing disrespect issue that is brewing in our home. It’s the NORMAL stage of strutting his stuff and showing how much he knows compared to me. We’re butting heads like demented human beings!! I’m quite tired of it already and the teen years haven’t even gotten here yet. Please tell me you are going through it too, or have been there already.
For the past school semester we have been going round and round like crazy. I feel like I’ve had to become the big angry Momma bear way to much in the past nine weeks. I’m so glad that on Monday we’re starting a new semester. This semester may be better because the kids know I can call on Daddy at any given second like I have in the past. There’s just something about having “Daddy Power” on your side even if I don’t have to really use it very often!
The book honestly disappointed me in more ways than I care to express. Maybe it’s because he repeatedly the same thing so many times over. (Shoot he may have done that in the Love and Respect for the couples’ book, but I don’t remember it because it has been years since I read it. At that time I was hungry for any resource to help me, and that book DID help me.) However, at the same time there are many valid suggestions and things worth taking to heart in it. So, I still feel this book is worth reading.
This parenting book just stresses that kids need to feel loved and the parents need to feel respect. If one or the other doesn’t get those feelings then the FAMILY CRAZY CIRCLE begins. Unless someone breaks that cycle then it will only fester.
Show More Love to Gain More Respect
I personally gave this a try. I started showering my kids with more love and praise. Even though despite what some people may say, I do give them a lot of it already. However, I step it up even more. Did this help with the disrespect issue?
NOT one little bit! If anything it got worse. Now he’s back talking EVERYONE including his father. He’s arguing over every little thing. So, I feel like every day I’m waking up to a battlefield, and I have to plan out my battle plan for each day. That’s no way for any parent to feel. I feel like I have to be on the defensive from the time we wake up until we go to bed.
I know this is a normal part of him growing up because I went through it. I know others in our family who have gone through it too, but they never outgrew it. That royally concerns me!! I refuse to let that happen to me. I will fight tooth and nail to make darn certain it doesn’t.
Now here’s the kicker, I feel that if he sees that I respect him (and I’ve tried really hard to respect him despite how angry he’s made me lately) that he should see how to respect me. The problem with that logic is men and women’s definition of respect are two totally different things! So, I’m trying to figure out how to ensure he knows I respect him as a person. I do respect that as he grows up he knows more.
Yet, his lack of responsibility and consideration for others definitely makes it hard for me to show him respect. I’m sure I’m not alone with this issue as a parent. Now remember I have never claimed to be an expert on parenting! My nose is always buried in some type of parenting book or reading how other parents are raising their kids.
My Kids Really Do Know How to Behave
The funny thing is I can take my kids into town with me, and they are so well mannered to me and EVERYONE else too. Employees at all the local places we go to will literally stop and carry on full conversations with my kids, and act like they gain so much joy from talking to them. I have total strangers come up to me more times than I can count now and give my kids money because of how well behaved they were. People act like they are in amazement that I have well-mannered kids.
Yet, you let them walk into our home and it’s like all they just can’t take it anymore…they have to be bad! They have to show their disrespectful sides, they have to rampage the house and yard, and they are totally utterly unruly. Is there home to comfortable for them?? I’d say so!
So, I’m going to take part in the books suggestions and guide it’s given us. I just hope that it makes a difference because I want my kids to grow up to be respectful other others. Especially those who hold authority over them. I want them to realize that you gain more with honey than you do with vinegar and spice.
Maybe that’s the trick…I need to cover my kids in honey?? What do you think? Share your experience and knowledge with me (us) please!
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