What Was I Thinking??

I haven’t been on the scale since I decided to do this journey for 2013. However, I can say I’m NOT doing well with this ordeal at all. I’ve binged ate far more than I should have. I have ate all the wrong things.

I am hoping that since Del may be working through some meals we eat that I will gain some more healthier meals in me because I won’t have to worry about cooking two different meals just to get him something to eat that he can eat. (He is allergic to a lot of things so it limits what we can eat.) He’s worth every bit of the extra trouble. However, I don’t eat a lot of the healthier meals that I long to eat because it’s a lot of added work for me. NO, I’M NOT BLAMING HIM FOR BEING OVERWEIGHT!!! I was overweight before I got back together with Del.

I’m a big time emotional eater. It wasn’t as bad when I had a horse to ride, but I don’t have a way to escape like I use to. My blogging has helped for a while, but now I find that I’m munching as I’m doing it.

Zeva is constantly trying to demand to be the center of attention all the time. She is one fussy baby when she doesn’t get her way. She was born that way, and I’m doing my best to break her of it. It’s NOT fun though having to deal with her little temper tantrums all the time. She makes it so hard to try and teach the boys.

I’m surprised the boys have learned really anything this year. However, when you give them their tests surprisingly they have done remarkably well on them for the most part. So my hat goes off to them for learning despite having a loud demanding sister.

I know it will pass and I know that she will get better, but right now.. she truly makes me wonder why I wanted another baby. Oh yea, I wanted my little girl with Del!!! When she isn’t fussing she’s so much fun to have. I just refuse to let her continue to have her way ALL the time anymore!! She needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around her little butt. She is still given plenty of attention!!! I don’t ignore her when she needs fed, something to drink, or her butt changed. We all do play with her for hours on end a day as well!!!  (I’m the one who created this little brat and her behavior issue. So, I really shouldn’t be complaining, but..)

I’ve asked the doctor about it every time I’ve taken her and he doesn’t see her fussing so he thinks we’re just making a mountain of a mole hill. I still feel like something is off with her, but I can’t pin point it. Of course, I did also spoil her rotten to from the time she was born. I’m no doctor and I hated learning about health growing up. So…

The funny thing is when we are out in public she is the most well mannered child. Of course, there is so much to see and do. Plus strangers tend to love to give her the attention. In town she really only cries when she truly does need something, and we are very quick to accommodate her.

I keep coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I haven’t lost this cotton pickin’ weight. One day I’ll want it bad enough that excuses won’t exist. I guess I haven’t reached that point YET. .

Thanks for listening to me vent. I love all of my kids, but like any parent knows there are just days that you wonder “what the hang was I thinking.” This too shall pass.


Tell me about  your moments like mine please so I don’t feel so alone in this.




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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