If you’ve read my blog for ANY period of time, then you know that sex and marriage is a topic near and dear to my heart due to my past. I’m an advocate for keeping the marriage bed full of passion and love. However, having a proper love life actually starts with the decisions you make when you’re dating someone whether you’re a teenager or an adult in the dating field again. I had the pleasure of reviewing 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery.
From the Ashley Madison scandal to Bruce Jenner and the implications of the SCOTUS decision, stories of sexual exploitation, infidelity and controversy regularly find their way in today’s headlines. Yet most Christians feel ill-equipped to answer questions about sexuality in their own lives, let alone those prompted by cultural changes. The church is often silent on sexuality, leaving women to work through these issues alone or prompting them to buy into cultural assumptions.
In 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask, Slattery discusses what she calls sexual discipleship, explaining the importance of integrating our understanding about sex with the rest of who we are as Christ-followers, and being willing to yield this vulnerable area of life completely to the Lord. With this foundation, she shares the most common questions women have about sexuality, exploring areas such as the sex drive of men, boundaries in marriage, mommy porn, infidelity, conflict, temptation, shame, sexual apathy, busyness, homosexuality, forgiveness, and more. She also addresses topics specific to single women, such as how far is too far, how to know if he’s the “one,” should you live together first, and why you can be single and sexual.
I found this book to be a delight to read. Everywhere I turn, I see people encouraging everyone that it’s perfectly okay to have physical relations with all kinds of people without there being repercussions for our actions. The sad FACT is there are major side effects from doing it.
The harsh reality is while you’re in the midst of indulging in those activities you won’t see the problem. All you see is the instant pleasure and satisfaction of taking care of an urge. Your relationship may even feel stronger as a result.
As a woman who has lived a very sexual life throughout my teen years and even in part of my twenties I know firsthand how wrong I was! I have lived through the repercussions of my poor choices. It has caused damage in my marriages in more ways than one.
I could honestly say a lot more on this very topic. I have throughout the course of my blog, but I truly want you to read this book filled with valuable advice. This book is one that every person should read. I also feel that parents should read it to help answer their teens questions. It’s a book that teenagers can read and receive valuable guidance.
The reality is we as a nation need to stop the ever growing trend that sex outside of marriage is something that is acceptable. Sex is meant to be something enjoyed within the confines of a HUSBAND and WIFE relationship. Having sex with one partner for the rest of your life isn’t always easy or a bed of roses. However, knowing that they are your other half and with you until the day you die changes the dynamics of a sexual relationship. The beauty of a love making within a marital relationship is that together you can make it all you both long for it to be.
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Meet Juli Slattery
Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, an international nonprofit designed to minister to women on topics of intimacy. Juli served as the co-host of the Focus on the Family broadcast and is the host of Java with Juli, a broadcast and podcast in affiliation with Moody Radio. Juli has appeared in USA Today, the New York Times, Fox News, and on radio networks throughout the world. Her heart is to help women find healing and fulfillment in their quest for true intimacy. Juli loves speaking to women about how God’s truth speaks into the sensitive realities of life. Juli has written numerous books including Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart (co-authored with Dannah Gresh), Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? (co-authored with Linda Dillow), No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage, Beyond the Masquerade: Unveiling the Authentic You, Finding the Hero in Your Husband: Surrendering the Way God Intended, Guilt-Free Motherhood: Parenting with Godly Wisdom, and her latest, 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Juli and her husband, Mike, have been married for 20 years and are raising their three teen boys in Colorado Springs. You can often find Juli climbing mountains while managing her addiction to soy lattes.
What are your thoughts on this topic?