I have had this blog post going through my mind for the past two weeks now. I know I’m “calling the kettle black” on this one to some extent. However, Del is man enough to point it out to me when I’ve gotten to a terrible level with it. Of course, I have someone close to me that does this on regular bases, and I get to see the damage it causes first hand so I get a dramatic reminder quite often to NOT do it…..
What is the famous IT I’m referring too…
This one thing is very dangerous for a couple’s marriage. I don’t care if you’ve been married for a week or thirty years. When you nag your spouse over anything constantly, it causes major damage to your relationship. The reason it causes damage is because of the fact that you are belittling your spouse way too much for their comfort and quite frankly your own as well.
I’m not saying that men aren’t guilty of this one because I know many men who do it too. However, I’ve seen MORE women guilty of this annoying marriage killer.
Here’s the overall situation… You want your husband to help out around the house more, such as mowing the yard, taking out the trash, or helping to put the kids in bed. You want him to do things your way. I was taught a long time ago by a very wise woman who had a husband who adored her with complete utter passion (and he would do ANYTHING and I mean anything for her a lot of the times without even her asking him to.) She told me the greatest tool she ever learned was “the art of making her husband think everything was HIS idea.”
Yes, the trick is learning how to be a persuasive gem. You can truly get a man to do anything for you without argument or fuss. You can also make him feel like royalty while gaining what you need from him. I’ve learned that showering my husband with loads of HONEST compliments make a world of difference. I have also conquered asking him to do things. My husband is NOT an employee, a kid, or anyone else that I need to control.
My husband is my PARTNER. Yes, I also make darn certain that he knows and feels like he’s the head of the household. I do challenge him from time to time about some decisions that he makes, but I do that in PRIVATE. Men want/need to feel like they are in control of the situation.
When we’re steadily asking them a thousand questions while they are doing something or suggesting/demanding they do it differently than what they are, you are LITERALLY downgrading him!!! Do you like to be downgraded?? Do you like to be made to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing??
Many men get married and feel like instead of gaining a PARTNER they gained a YOUNGER MOTHER HEN.
Do you want to be your husband’s partner or his wife? Do you want to be showered with love or do you want to be the one he avoids at all costs??
Next time you want to try and dictate how your man does something…think about whether you’re doing it in a manner in which you’re building him up. If you want to suggest a new way of doing something, might I suggest you ask if your opinion is even wanted? You’d be amazed the difference in how a situation plays out.
I could write a long series on this topic alone.