Revealing Myself Online

In my case, I feel like I reveal a lot about myself as well as my family. We are pretty transparent, including the fact that I’m full of personality online (i.e. in my blog and in Twitter parties), but a recluse in person. My kids love being the center of anything online. My husband use to say that I should only talk about the good aspects about him, but now he’s open to the idea of me talking about all the details of our relationship after I was so bold to talk about my “Holey Granny Behind.”

I do still hold back on many cases about things that happen in our life. The family drama that seems to take place day in and day out here. I also don’t go into details about some of my own personal battles that I have with depression off and on (although, it’s nowhere close to what it’s been since 2006.) It’s still there though.

I definitely don’t talk about the many mood swings I have and how it drives me batty. SO I can only imagine how my family feels having to deal with them. I can’t stand being a moody mess. One minute I’m happy go lucky and the next minute I want a punching bag so bad I can feel myself hitting it to smithereens. Some days I wake up with all intentions of staying in a good mood all day long, and the kids are just a bit more hyper than I would like them to be and that mood is thrown out the window for an entire day.

It bugs the living tar out of me how some people state, “Oh, you just have to decide what type of mood you’re going to have. It’s called self-control.” Well, honey let me tell you, some people have no control over their so called ‘self-control.’ Self-control is a great thing and I do believe it can exist, but only up to a point. Evidentially self-control seems to jump on a train that I’m not even seeing and waves bye-bye to me almost daily.

I don’t talk about the fact that I’m a major emotional eater. I literally was anorexia during my preteen years because I was so miserable with life and didn’t want to live. Now, I’m the polar opposite and an emotional eater. When I’m stressed I eat anything I can get my hands on, and it’s like a vicious cycle.

My mom always stated, that when I got happy in my life the weight would fly off of me. I was extremely happy while pregnant with Zeva despite how much pain and agony she put me through. I lost a LOT of weight while I was pregnant with her. Of course, the doctors asked my husband and I if I changed my eating habits and we both were quick to tell him no. The doctors stated that my hormones looked to be totally on track. I didn’t have nearly as many mood swings while I was pregnant with her. Of course, it was hard to tell that since I was in so much pain.

I don’t talk much about what it was like to see my mom beat to a pulp as a kid. I don’t talk much about how I longed to have a solid family growing up, and still fear that I won’t have my family in tact the rest of my life. I don’t want to live through another divorce or have my kids endure it. I don’t talk about how when Del and I do fight that I feel like such a hypocrite talking about marriage tips on my blog.

I am nowhere close to having my life completely together. I do the best I can with what I have. I have a long way to go to have all of my ducks in a row, but I strive to improve something every day even if it’s something small. I love many aspects of my life and I treasure a lot too. Please don’t take this post to mean that I a miserable and have a lot to complain about. I was just revealing that there is plenty that I leave on discussed.

Honestly, do you think I should cover these topics on my blog? 




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

27 comments on “Revealing Myself Online”

  1. I think your readers always appreciate how much of yourself you are willing to share, but I also think it is totally okay to have some things that are just yours. I know that we are very much exactly who we are in real life on the blog, but we don’t share everything. I think you just have to do what makes you feel most comfortable! :)-Ashley

    • Ashley,

      You’ve followed me long enough that you probably know I have no problem sharing myself with others. It’s just a matter of not wanting to bore you to death or making you think I want pity or anything along those lines. It just helps to get things off ones chest.

    • Those hard moments have made me far stronger than I ever thought was possible. I’m glad to know that you’ll enjoy them if I write them.

  2. Crystal, I think you should talk about whatever you want. It is your blog. I love when people talk about these things because I am bipolar because of a lot of bad things that happened to me. And I also get pi$$ed when someone tells me it is the mood I decide to be in. If only it were that easy. I wish that it was. I bet they aren’t bipolar and I bet they didn’t have all of the bad things happen to them either. Like I am scared to have friends or be close to anyone because of what has happened to me. I always end up getting hurt even though I try to be what they want me to be and it is never ever enough. I only talk to people online and my mom and husband. I have a few people on another account on FB that I talk to sometimes.

    • I have a personal Facebook page with over 500 connections on it, and I talk to maybe 4 of those 500 people. I can definitely understand choosing your friends very carefully. I am not close to many people either. Yet, I love to meet people and have lots of acquaintances. I love having online relationships because I feel like this side of me is my ‘true self.’ I’m not restricted by insecurities if that makes any sense.
      As far as you being bipolar, you’re still a remarkable woman I’m sure. Speaking from someone who has had to deal with someone who is bipolar, it’s not always easy to deal with the mood swings, but when you’re high it’s so much fun to be around you and worth riding out the storms. 🙂

  3. It’s YOUR blog, take ownership of it anyway you like. If you want to write about those things than it is your prerogative. That’s the awesomeness of having this type of platform to communicate with. Those that don’t want to read it will move on, and you might gain some new followers too 🙂

  4. I think you should talk about what you want. It is your blog, I’m sure at some point in time there is always someone feeling the same way whether good or bad.

    • This is a valid point for sure. I love talking about anything. However, I also don’t want to bore you all to death either.

  5. If you’re comfortable and want to, then it may be a great way to work through some things by talking openly about them. I tend to keep my life more private, but everyone should do what they’re comfortable with. 🙂

    • I actually wrote a lot of personally things on my blog that I had on SparkPeople. It definitely helped get a lot of things out in the open. However, I haven’t really dug into them on this site much.

    • I sometimes hold back far more than I should. Then there are times when God won’t leave me alone to post about certain things until I write it and ACTUALLY put it live.

  6. Sometimes talking about it is the best medicine. I’m a somewhat closed person too, but it feels really good to open up and let people and I often hear things back that help me. Thanks for sharing!

  7. I think it’s your blog and you should write about what you want. However, there will likely be backlash from others that don’t understand and you have to decide how those comments and reactions will affect you. I personally suffer from clinical depression, and have been doing so since I was eight. I actually started a blog maybe help others through my experiences but only managed to get out one post as it was, well, too depressing to keep writing. That was me though. When others know they’re not alone in the trials they face, they find comfort so your story may be therapeutic for many.

    • It is very hard to write these posts. I have a few already live on here now, and I was literally writing behind tears on some of them. I was scared to press publish, but I didn’t hold back. I got a lot more support from them than I expected to get.

      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve dealt with depression for so long. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was pregnant with my first child in 2000.

  8. I know everyone copes with feelings differently. If it helps your heart and journey toward healing to write about your past and current experiences, then do it. Sending hugs and strength!


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