Like I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been reading the Debbie Macomber’s series for Cedar Cove. They are amazing. One of the books is about a couple, that the wife is a stay at home mom, but yet, she didn’t make time to cook, clean, and tend to her kids because she got so wrapped up in helping the community that she failed to make time to meet her own families needs. Therefore, her and her husband ended up in a divorce, mainly because they couldn’t properly communicate with each other.
The reason that struck home for me was because in my first marriage, my ex-husband would do for everyone else, but he didn’t do for me like I felt he should have. He has a heart of gold, and would give you the shirt off his back, and honestly that was one of his traits that I fell in love with. However, when that trait wasn’t directed back at me, it hurt A LOT! Unfortunately, I couldn’t express how I felt without coming across as a jealous controlling wife. Hence, one of the biggest reasons why we are divorced (among many more, but the biggest one was my heart truly belonged to my current husband, even then.)
However, it also strikes home for my current marriage. The reason it does it because I LOVE to be out doing things in the community when I am able to do it. I love being a part of doing for schools and other activities. However, when I have tried to do some of the things I enjoy and I’m away from home for many days on end, I’m like the character in the book, there just isn’t enough hours in a day for me to handle juggling all of the tasks involved with keeping a house running smoothly. When I stopped working, I did agree to cook and try to keep our house decent (which me being pregnant definitely makes it seem like a joke because I barely have the strength to cook or clean right now.) However, when I do go out and do things like go the Y, to church, and spend time with friends, and other things that I fully enjoy. I’m happy, but my marriage suffers because there is little of me left to do the things around the house that should be done. Luckily, my husband and I have a strong communication between us. Yes, we may argue at times, but neither one of us backs down from the other, and before the day is out we reach a compromise or a solution that we’re willing to give a try until we reach one that will work for us both. Right now, I haven’t been able to go do a lot, but I know after this baby is born, and if I continue to be a housewife (which is completely up in the air right now) that I’m going to want to get back into the social life that I enjoy. However, I have to figure out a way to make him happy and myself at the same time. When I’m working, I get all the social activity out of me because I’ve always chosen a job that allows me to deal with the public in some form or fashion. So, when I get off work, I’m more than ready to come home and be with my family. That’s why I went back to work when I did. Del wasn’t happy about me going back to work because we were doing well with our business.
Like usual, I get pregnant and the sky decided to fall out. We lost two of our major accounts that we had. The one we lost because someone else out bidded us on buying pallets from where we were getting them. Considering what we would of made to match that bid, it wasn’t worth it for us to try and compete. I have a feeling that once this company realizes what they are really getting they may have a change of heart. In turn, the company we were dealing with will regret their last minute decision that they made with us. However, we all have faith that everything is going to work out because we working on other avenues of making ends meet already. So, no one is stressing right now. Of course, if you believe in God then you know there is no sense in worrying because God will always provide you with everything you NEED.
I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a decent nights sleep. If it’s not the baby, it’s been our new puppy, or I just can’t get comfortable because I keep ending up with a kink in my neck that has been spreading down my back too. Or I have nightmares. There’s always something. I haven’t even been able to take a nap lately. It’s amazing that I’m even still awake right now. 🙂
I have been wanting to eat like a horse lately. I’ve been doing everything I can to avoid it though because I don’t want to get any bigger than I am. I already look huge as a cow! Del told me my stomach was bigger this time than it was with Little Del. Of course, the baby is riding completely different. I can’t wait to find out if I’m right or wrong!! This week is flying by, so it will be here before I know it.
Well, I’ve bored you enough. Time for me to curl up and read. I have twenty books checked out and have until the 19th to read them. It keeps Del happy because it keeps me from over doing it and worrying him because I’m so sick and in so much pain. My men keep close tabs on me. I can’t believe I’ve been so blessed to have my men, and this little blessing like I have been.
Just think about your actions and see if you truly are putting what is most important thing in your life first.