More Thoughts on the “Secrets Over Sweet Tea”

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There are just some books in life that make you think about more than you do others. Not necessarily for every detail that is spoken, but sometimes because of the quotes that are stated. (At least that’s the case in my life because I’m big on quotes. I have a tendency to read a lot of quote books and sites just for the pure joy of it.)


I already mentioned the quote about the Northern people verses the Southern people. If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. However, the reality of the two different worlds is definitely there even if we truly don’t want to admit it out loud. These quotes that I’m sharing tonight though are far more important than that though!!


Divorce is a form of death in so many ways. I’ve endured my parents each going through four of them (EACH), and I’ve gone through two of them myself. My second divorce honestly was a rejoicing situation for all involved, but my first one was rough. Although, Del was and always should have been the man I married, my first husband did get a part of my heart as well. My first husband is VERY similar to Del in MANY ways, but they are also different as well. (I constantly compared them to each other all throughout my marriage to my first husband. Hence, a huge part in why we got divorced, but not the sole reason.)


I took a vast majority of the blame for my first marriage falling apart. I was still longing for Del to come get me repeatedly. Yet, trying to salvage what I had made of my life with a good man. He had his faults, but he tried in earnest to make me happy. Here’s the kicker about someone being happy…. NO ONE can make you happy if you’re not happy with yourself!


Do you know how hard that is to grasp?? It’s so hard that there are self-help books all over the place about happiness. Shoot, I just got done doing a book review on one. Yet, out of all of those darn self-help books I’ve read, I can’t think of one who has gave me wording that I’ll take away from them to remember better than this fictional delight.


“Whatever makes you feel ALIVE, whatever helps you rediscover that carefree childlike heart I know is in there somewhere that is what you should be doing. Sugar, you act too old for your age, and you don’t have to. You’re young. You’re beautiful. It’s time for you to assume freedom and not let all those fears and restrictions hold you back. There is this amazing world out there waiting for you, sugar pie. Buy you’ve got to choose to live in it.”


When you are doing something that you love with a passion it makes your whole outlook on life seem different. Riding horses was a major part of my life to the point that when I stopped riding with enjoyment on August 5, 1999, I honestly had no clue what the hang I was going to do with my life. I went into a major depression because a part of my existence was lost.


People make all kinds of messed up choices when they are running from their true feelings and issues. I’ve made other mistakes since then, but I’ve tried really hard to think long and hard about those decisions before I jump the gun.


That brings me to my next quote from this book that will stand out with me for some time.


“They’re starting to experience what can happen to us when we let life shut us down. We’re meant to stay connected to our hearts, you see. Feeling our feelings, present in the moments we’re given. But we don’t do that. And that’s when we get in trouble. … We mature and take responsibility for ourselves and others, and that’s a good thing. But we’re never meant to lose that ALIVE quality, to get cut off from our true hearts. Growing up isn’t the same thing as shutting down.”


Many people experience all kinds of hard aches in life. It’s a part of life. However, what we do with those heartaches and hard ships are what is going to make the real difference in the quality of our lives and the type of happiness we’re really going to have.


I’ve told you before that I struggle with depression. I haven’t had a major break down with it in years. Del and I have a system that helps me keep it regulated. It requires a lot of honest heart to heart communications. However, it also requires me being able to accept and yes, feel the various stages of emotions that I’m dealing with.


We all need to find what truly makes us feel alive. Mine has become this blogging venture. I’ve soaked it up. I love writing, sharing with all of you, learning and growing as a person (yes, I am definitely doing that because I’m having to come out of my shell in so many ways.), and the vast amount of people that I feel connected to now is truly remarkable. I appreciate the fact that you all help me feel ALIVE.


Ironically enough, the blogging life has also expanded the life that I have with my family as well. We’re able to do more together than before. Plus since I’m always on the lookout for potential blogging/social media thoughts… Guess what I pay even more attention to the details of the life that is happening before my eyes.


This book has turned out to be so much more than what I originally talked about in the last book review. However, I also told you up front that I wasn’t completely finished. See what happens when I write about a book before I finish… you hear so much more than you bargained for I’m sure.


So… I’ll leave you with this question. I’d like it if you’d share your answer with us.


What makes you feel ALIVE??

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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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