My five year anniversary has been weighing big time on my mind. Not that five years is such a huge milestone, but it’s the first big one we’ve gone through together as a married couple (or couple period) despite the fact that we’ve been on and off again for over 20 years now.
I have hurt Del so much it’s hard to ever make up for it. In all out honesty, I’ll NEVER be able to do it. I will forever be sorry for all the things I’ve put him through prior to us getting married.
Forgiveness has to start with myself. If I’m able to forgive myself, then it makes it much easier for him to do it. We can’t change the past. There is no sense in bringing up the hurtful parts of it.
Expressing insecurity issues out loud doesn’t help anyone. In my case they are my demons to deal with. Del hasn’t done anything to warrant me having them. If anything, he’s done everything in his power to ensure I have no reason to have it to begin with. I have access to everything of his, and he has freely accepted me checking in on him without complaint or argument. The less I talk to him about it amazingly the less of an issue it seems to be for me. Go figure, right?
The value of ENJOYING sex. Yes, I have harped about sex being all important, but I failed to see how important me being fully in it makes a difference for all involved. I literally feel like a teenager lately with him. Considering he was the first man to get me 100% willingly, that just adds to the fire.
Goals For the Next Five Years
I aim to not hit his buttons quite as much. I’ve gotten better at it, but not quite there yet. Do you manage to push your spouses buttons without meaning to far more than you should??
Keep working on losing this annoying extra weight. It’s finally coming off AGAIN. I just hope that I don’t want to go back into my “weight shell” again. It’s fairly easy to do it when I’m happy, but when we hit rocky patches it is a struggle and a half.
Enjoy as many of the little moments we’re blessed with as I can!!! Complain a lot less!!
Lastly, I’m going to fall in love with a new detail about him on a DAILY bases!!
(This is one of our songs. Hope you enjoy it.)
Love and marriage is hard work, but it’s well worth it!!
What is the best thing you’ve learned about marriage?
What are your personal marriage goals?