Being Quiet: Thought to Ponder

The last two days has been making me think a lot. See, I told you that I’ve been working on yelling a lot less. I’ve been trying not gripe as much.

Guess what…. I have totally utterly lost my voice altogether due to whatever the hang bug that is going around. It hurts to talk at all. My chest feels like it’s going to explode. My head is spinning. Yet, a mother’s job is NEVER done even when they don’t want to get up out of bed.

When my mom’s cancer in her thyroid got to be bad she had a really hard time talking too. So, she choose her words very carefully because every word hurt to speak.

Things I’ve Learned About Kids Being Quiet

1.) Kids respond better to a quiet request.

2.) When a child has to try to figure out what it is you’re saying or wanting, it’s quite interesting the choices they come up with.

3.) You get to really see what they have learned from you about taking care of others. My oldest has been trying desperately to pick up the slack of what I can’t bring myself to do. ( He has LITERALLY DONE  ALL of the laundry is folded and put away, he cooked lunch for himself and siblings, offered to do dishes, and he has been doing his best to keep his siblings in line all day.) He may be wanting to earn some MAJOR brownie points, but he’s definitely doing it with style that’s for sure. He knows how much a clean house makes me feel better.

4.) The quieter you are, the quieter they are. My kids have been like little mice running around the house today. It’s hard to even tell I have three kids in my house.

5.) The power of having them write statements of correction is pretty successful. They can’t stand being forced to sit at a desk and write a lot!

Things I’ve Learned About Me

1.) If I have to be quiet, I can’t complain as quickly. So, I pick my battles a lot more carefully.

2.) I realized just how many times the last two days I would have yelled in a day. It’s scary when I had to envision what my day would have looked like had I not been forced to be QUIET.

3.) I got more creative on discipline and grabbing my kids attention. Why couldn’t I do that with my voice in tact? Am I really being that lazy as a parent?

4.) Being quiet is actually more peaceful than trying to nitpick every detail .

5.) There is definitely a lot of merit to the saying, “It’s harder and more rewarding to be the listener than it is to be the talker.

Now here’s the real kicker…..

Will all of these lessons be well learned when my voice is restored? I certainly hope so because I definitely value my voice. I love to sing, talk way more than I should, and I enjoy laughing. All of those things are really hard to do without my voice. I enjoy having phone conversations with my husband. I enjoy being able to physically tell him I love him before he leaves and when we wake up next to each other.

I miss my voice. I definitely hope I don’t have to live without my voice forever. However, if I did, I know that we’d survive it. Things would a lot quieter around here that’s for sure.

What would be different in your life if you lost your voice? 

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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

46 comments on “Being Quiet: Thought to Ponder”

  1. Whenever I get a cold (and with two little boys, I get several dooseys per year), I always lose my voice. Gone. It’s SO hard to be a mom when you can’t even talk for a few days, I can’t imagine a whole life time……

    • Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this several times a year. That would be really hard to deal with that’s for sure. Thanks for commenting.

    • It definitely wouldn’t have been something that crossed my mind had I not been voiceless for the past two days. Then I was compelled literally to write this post.

  2. My family cheers when I lose my voice. Not because I yell (I can count the times on one hand in twenty years that I’ve yelled, and most of those were on a roller coaster 🙂 ) but because they’re stinkers like that. 🙂

    • I praise you for never getting on the yelling band wagon!! I wish I had stayed off of it when I had broken the habit before. I’m not sure what put me back on this ugly path again, but it’s hard to get back off of it. My kids have commented about the fact that they can see I’m trying though.

    • They say when you lose one sense (even though voice is not really one of our senses, but it should be) that we focus on other things more. I feel that’s definitely a case here.

    • Our household is loud on holiday gatherings too! We are definitely a loud family too. It feels like everyone is trying to out talk the other person too.

  3. I ask my kids to do something and they ignore me, I am glad the quiet thing is working for you. I have tried it because I prefer it, but nobody here seems to listen to me until I raise my voice. Teach me how to do it please.

    • I’m still learning methods that work too!! The quiet thing has worked for the past two days, that definitely doesn’t mean it’s going to work for the long haul. Of course, they are so use to me yelling that they probably were more afraid of the quietness because it was against the norm. 😉

    • My husband woke my kids up this morning and told them I had no voice and they best be on their best behavior all day long. Although, if he hadn’t of done that they probably would have been asking a thousand questions too.

    • It definitely is hard to not yell. I’m trying like crazy to break this terrible ugly habit. I’m making progress one little baby step at a time.

    • I literally used the notepad on my phone to talk to my son today. I text messaged my husband this morning back and forth with him in the bed with me. Thank goodness we have that option to still be able to talk.

  4. I love calm and quiet. I love the TV off. I don’t mind silence and I am not afraid of it either. That being said, I can’t imagine not being able to talk. How incredibly difficult my life would be without my voice.

    • I enjoy the peace and quiet too. It use to be one of the things I loved most about riding horses because I could get lost in the peace and quiet of nature.

  5. Never put this into perspective like this. One thing I do notice though since my kids love being noisy, whenever they’re quiet it means that something is wrong and they’re up to something.

    • That is definitely usually the case. I usually get worried when my kids are quiet. Yesterday and today though, they were right underneath me the whole day.

    • It’s amazing the things we remember from our childhoods. I remember losing my hearing from my airplane trip to visit my Dad for three weeks like it was yesterday too. (Talk about some lessons learned. You just reminded me of another possible post idea.)

      Thanks for sharing what you remember most from losing your hearing.

  6. I am not sure what it would be like without a voice but my kids are such chatter boxes it would be hard to deal with.

    • Kids make it really hard to stay quiet that’s for darn sure because they are ALWAYS wanting to talk about something! They haven’t stopped talking to me since I got my voice back this morning. It’s been one question right after another all day long.

  7. Interesting thought & post! I am sure there are a million things I would notice and look at differently if I had no voice and would just listen more…

    • I’d love to know what you observe if you do decide to do it. I think it would be so neat to see how people view the world differently if they change one thing about their normal traits. To me it’s almost like we’re becoming like a kid again exploring our world in a totally different way.

  8. you’ve offered great advice here for parenting. i guess it would be kind of okay if i lost my voice, since i’m usually quiet anyway. but it would be really hard.

    • Being a quiet person, to me is such a huge blessing. I’ve always admired those who were of a quiet spirit around me because I’ve always felt like they were the wisest. For I’ve always heard that a person learns more by being quiet than they do by talking. I’ve tried to be quiet by my own choice, and everything thinks something is wrong with me when I am. They are quick to get me talking again. (Yet, if you put me in a crowded room and I’m not suppose to be the spotlight, I’m in a corner quiet as a mouse watching everything.)

  9. Being quiet and meditating is very enjoyable to me. I can only imagine how horrific it would be to have to raise my voice to get those around me to listen to what I have to say. I hope your voice comes back soon and you get to share with those around you some sweet caring quiet time by choice.

    • Thank you for those kind words. There is hardly ever any quiet time in our house by choice because I have some very chattery kids, but overall they really are good kids. Yes, it bothers me that they really only listen completely is when I raise my voice. I’m trying to break that awful trend though!

  10. It’s crazy what you will learn when you can’t do things your so used to doing daily. I don’t know how useful my oldest would be though LOL. With 4 kids around you almost have to be loud in mhy house to be heard at all.

    • Yes, it definitely does get crazy when you have a lot of kids in a room, and there are times when a person has to raise their voice to be heard that’s for sure. 🙂 However, those are usually in good times. (That kind of yelling, I don’t mind!)

  11. I don’t like to raise my voice and hardly ever do. Actually people think I speak so quietly, when I think I’m yelling.. Crazy.. but I get more things done in a quiet and calm voice instead of a raised voice… What a great post, thanks for sharing

    • Melanie,

      To me that is quite impressive that you raise three kids as well and you don’t yell at all. I would love to know how you do that with what sounds like such ease. I imagine your home is peaceful and filled lots of love. (To me, yelling doesn’t show a whole lotta love, and that’s why it bothers me to utterly much that I have this terrible habit.)

    • My mom loved to sing too, and that was the one thing she missed the most after her thyroid surgery. She could no longer sing anymore, and it killed her spirit everytime we went to church.

    • It was such an experience for me. I am glad I learned those lessons. I have my voice back today, and I amazingly I have had no desire to yell.

  12. Of course, I read this right after yelling. You make some wonderful points and I’m going to attempt (I’m a realist) to put this to the test for the remainder of the week. I shall return on Friday to update you. Thank you for the inspiration!

    • You’re welcome. Yelling is such a hard habit to break, but definitely easy to get into. (It’s almost like it’s easy to gain weight but hard to lose it.)

    • Thank you for the vote of confidence. I don’t normally write with my heart, and this one happened to be a heart blog post. Glad you enjoyed it.

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