Robin Williams’s death has shaken me to my core. Not because I know him personally but because I have been a fan of his for most of my life. His work has been something that has helped me during my hard days of depression. I’ve mentioned before I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember now. However, I’ve yet to tell you just how deep it runs.
I really can’t put into words what it feels like to suffer from a depression that is strong that it consumes every part of you. When I struggle with my depression episodes, I feel like I’m trapped. I can’t handle any type of pressure from anyone. If someone asks me for anything, it’s like they’ve asked me for a million dollars when I have less than a penny to my name.
Please pin this image so others may gain this insight too about depression. Thank you.
I have already expressed that I suffer from emotional eating. I desperately want to break that habit, but every time I make progress, something else happens in our life that causes me to go back to ground zero. When that happens, my depression just festers. I know my weight loss would happen much quicker if I could get my hormones in check. However, due to the new government regulations, there’s no way I can afford to get the help I need now for it.
I suffer. I’ve learned many things to help keep my depression in check. However, those things don’t always do the trick. I love blogging and everything it entails, but it’s really hard to write when I’m suffering. It’s hard to stick with it.
If you know anything about depression, then you know that it’s hard to continue to have the desire to do anything you love to do. Nothing sounds appealing! You really don’t want to be around anyone because you feel like you’re not worth anything. I have been suicidal many times over in my life and have felt like others were better off if I wasn’t alive anymore.
I’ve had others literally try to use my depression against me. It’s kept me from promotions at some of my jobs because I can’t keep a steady pace of results. It has interfered with my relationships with others. I’d love to not have this emotional roller coaster ride as a part of my daily life.
Since Robin Williams committed suicide, it made me realize that regardless of how much you have at your disposal, there is no guarantee that a person can really control the depression beast. With each passing day, I’m learning to lean more on God and less on my husband. It has really helped a lot. (My husband is still my better half, but it wasn’t fair to him to have me co-dependent on him.)
Has Robin Williams’s death affected you in any way?