Why Being a ‘Hot Mess’ Mom is Something to Embrace

It’s early morning and I look at myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes are a stark reminder of how little sleep I got last night. My hair is unkempt and I can hardly find the energy to brush it. It’s just another typical day as a ‘hot mess’ mom.

Despite the exhaustion, chaos and frazzled nerves that come with being a mom, I wouldn’t change any of it if given that…

All moms are hot messes – it’s just a fact of life

I think every mom (or parent, for that matter) can admit to having moments, days, or maybe even extended periods of time when things just feel chaotic. That doesn’t mean we’re bad moms, it just means that we’re human. And sometimes type-A personalities like myself who thrive on order and structure need to be reminded that it’s okay to embrace the mess and imperfection that naturally comes with motherhood.

Parenting is overwhelming, tiring and sometimes messy, but I realize that this doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Too often mothers (especially working moms) put unnecessary and unsustainable pressure on themselves by trying to inject a level of perfection into parenting that is physically and emotionally impossible.

When we stop trying to micromanage all the minutiae and insignificant details of parenting, it frees up our time for more meaningful conversations with our children or for engaging in activities with them where everyone is enjoying themselves. The secret seems to lie in recognizing which details truly matter and which can wait or be dropped from the schedule altogether. If you can master this skill, you’ll soon delight in quality time with your children instead of dreading it because there’s no perfect outcome.

It becomes easier too as children get older because typical tasks like helping pack school lunches or choosing an outfit for the day become less stressful – these decisions quickly become theirs instead of ours! So being a “hot mess” mom isn’t something I need to be ashamed of – instead I’m embracing life’s natural messiness while seeking ways to find meaning in all its chaos every day.

Embrace your inner hot mess and own it

Despite the stories we tell ourselves and the outside noise that surrounds us, it’s okay to be a hot mess! It’s more than okay – it’s actually a pretty good thing. So why is being a hot mess mom something to embrace?

  • For starters, by embracing your inner hot mess, you can let go of perfectionism. Striving for perfection as a mom can be soul-crushing and feel like an impossible task. But by owning your inner hot mess, you are welcome in grace and understanding instead of striving for perfection (which is impossible to achieve!).
  • Embracing your inner hot mess also gives you permission to own mistakes. Mistakes happen – that’s life, especially in motherhood! Instead of beating yourself up over them, accept them and learn what you can from them. Take ownership over those mistakes and move on; it’s not worth giving yourself too much unnecessary grief over something that everyone experiences (because everyone also experiences failure).
  • Finally, being a “hot mess” means that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Life can get chaotic at times – between juggling tasks at home and work, running errands or shuttling kids around between activities – so having the ability to find humor in all the casual chaos can make life easier for both you and your family. Laugh about the silly things that happen throughout motherhood and don’t worry about having everything perfectly put together all the time; nobody expects it from any of us (especially not yourself!). So go ahead… try living fully in this “hot messy” world we have created for ourselves… you’ll be surprised how much better it feels when we finally let go of trying to do everything “right!”

There are some benefits to being a hot mess mom, including…

For me, there’s no such thing as having it all together. I try my best, but any day can be a complete disaster that leaves me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Every parent experiences this in time, and for me, it happens more often than not. But despite the chaos and mayhem that comes with parenting, I’ve learned to embrace my inner “hot mess mom”— in fact, I think there are some real benefits to being one.

For starters, hot mess moms tend to stay less stressed out by understanding the value of a good laugh at ourselves and our parenting mishaps. We don’t take things so seriously; we don’t try to be perfect all the time or live up to anyone else’s standards of what we should look like or how our kids should act. That alone makes us feel like Super Moms – which is something that every hot mess mom needs from time-to-time!

Another benefit of being a “hot mess” mom is that our kids learn the art of resilience and flexibility early-on in life—they become more equipped for dealing with potential mistakes early on and this instills important values into our children that will benefit them for years to come. We teach them how hard work pays off – with baking a cake, for example – and also show unrelenting determination when faced with an obstacle or challenge – like moving house when you have your hands full with children!

Finally, we also learn new ways of doing things – methods which are unique only to us hot mess moms – like using paper plates so fewer dishes need washing up after dinner or creating alternative activities when all hell has broken loose! Even though these moments may seem chaotic at the time – they often teach us different perspectives on life, which helps us see things differently—another quality of being a “hot mess mom” that can prove useful down the line!

Hot mess moms know how to have fun and let loose

Hot mess moms know how to have fun and let loose. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, or take life too seriously, either. We might not keep up with the Joneses, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t having a good time. When we make silly mistakes, we laugh at ourselves and share a good joke. We don’t worry about breaking the rules because we know it can sometimes lead to some of the best memories.

We don’t mind getting our hands messy, as long as it means having an adventure with our kids. Whether it’s trying out new recipes in the kitchen or smearing paint across large blank canvasses in the dining room; we always make ordinary activities extraordinary! Being spontaneous is just part of our nature and why life never gets boring around us!

We also understand that taking care of yourself is essential for being able to take care of your family; so even when life gets hectic, we will carve out some ‘me’ time for ourselves. Hot mess moms know that while motherhood can be hectic there are still moments to enjoy!

So don’t be ashamed of being a hot mess mom – own it!

We all want to be perfect mothers, but let’s face it: we’re not perfect people. We may feel like failures often and wonder how our parenting can be anything other than a big mess.

But that’s ok! You know why? Because being a “hot mess” mom can actually be something to embrace, because it’s part of who you are. It may feel embarrassing but it doesn’t have to be an indictment of your parenting skills – it just means you’re doing your best in the parenting game under chaotic circumstances.

Most often than not, “hot mess” moms don’t actually get their act together – they just figure out how to cope with their flaws so that they can enjoy life without feeling guilty about their missteps as parents. Instead of seeing themselves as incapable or unworthy beings, they come to terms with their shortcomings and try to make sense of them wasting no emotional energy in trying hard not to make those same mistakes again.

By taking the pressure off yourself and coming from a place of authenticity instead of seeking perfectionism and unrealistic expectations, you can lead your family by example while being true to yourself and creating meaningful connections with your children despite all the chaos that surrounds us. Don’t be ashamed or intimidated by being a hot mess mom – own it!




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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