Well, tomorrow what is “suppose” to be my final court hearing for my adoption of my oldest son. Hopefully this time all the i’s and t’s are dotted and crossed so there will be no more delays. However, the guardian ad liem got involved this time, so I feel pretty confident in his work and his work ethics. So, chances are high this case will finally be over. I am so eager for Jimmy to have a stable home life. Him and I have grown so close over the years, but the past six months have been remarkable!!
Last night I was in so much pain, I spent more time crying than anything else. This morning the pain didn’t ease up at all, so hubby and friends insisted that I go to the hospital to get checked out once again. The nurse that took care of me today was very short and acted like she truly didn’t want to be there and she certainly didn’t want me there. That was the first bad experience I’ve had with any of the nurses at the hospital, and God knows I’ve gone to the hospital my fair share of times due to being overly concerned about Zeva. Zeva has made me endure things that have been quite scary, and in many cases extremely painful. However, she’s worth every ounce of it.
I just can’t believe to
morrow is the day that we get to be induced and start the process of her grand arrival. It feels so much like yesterday that she was just conceived. I can remember having tears of joy over finding out that she was there FINALLY, after four years of praying day in day out for her to be conceived. I have ALWAYS wanted a boy and a girl with Del for as long as I can remember. Now, I’ll finally have it. Jimmy is an added bonus. My first daughter was my guardian angel for the period of time she was in my life, but I never got to feel what I feel now!
For as hard as this pregnancy has been, I’m actually kind of sad to see it end. I know I’ll no longer be able to enjoy Zeva completely on my own. I’ll no longer have her all to myself. I have enjoyed feeling her kick and move in my body, even when it hurts like crazy. I NEVER enjoyed being pregnant before. However, if I didn’t have the amazing husband, kids and in-laws, there’s no way that I could have enjoyed this pregnancy either. Plus I know I’ll know I’ll never feel this experience again, so I was paying attention to every detail as it happened. I read as many pregnancy books and apps as I could get my hands on. Plus we have LOTS of ultrasound pictures, from the time she was the size of a little seed all the way up. My men added to the experience as well because they talked to her daily, gave her hugs, and Little Del took it upon himself to wake her up every morning when he woke me up. There are so many precious little memories with this pregnancy. The baby shower, the gifts, the friends support, and so many other enlightening moments, that I’ll never forget.
I feel so blessed to be having such wonderful things happening tomorrow. I don’t honestly believe Zeva will be born tomorrow (since both of my other two labors were 12 hours long), but it’s possible. It will be neat to have my adoption go through the same day his sister that he prayed and begged for is born.
Oh, how this final stretch makes me miss my parents. My mom is no longer living, but she lives in my heart. We may not have had the best relationship, but we did get to start building a bridge before she passed. She was so proud of how my life was turning around before she passed. Granted, we still have a ways to go to reach our goals, but Del and I have made a lot of progress in the past four years together. 🙂 My Dad, I’m baffled by how our relationship has taken a turn that it has. There are so many options as to why it’s truly happened in the first place. However, I don’t like what has become of our relationship. However, maybe one day that will be fixed as well??
Now, the big concern I have is whether or not our dog will calm her wonderful little butt down around Zeva. She is such a wonderful dog in every way. However, she has the terrible habit of jumping on others. I have tried to break her of the habit, but the few people that we have had around her, have let her get away with it. So, it’s hard to break a dog of something when others don’t coorperate on the training. However, she did wonderful with a little puppy…so time will tell!! I have to have faith because she’s the only pet that has fully worked out with our family!!