When I became a mother for the first time, I was so excited – and a little scared. I had grand visions of myself as the perfect parent who could do no wrong. But then reality set in. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as perfect parenting – and thank goodness!
Parenthood is a challenging but beautifully rewarding journey where you’re bound to make mistakes along the way. That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk the myth.
Everyone has an opinion about motherhood, but nobody knows what it’s really like
Everyone has an opinion about being a mother, from the well-meaning friends who offer unsolicited advice to the strangers who feel like it’s okay to judge how I raise my children. Everyone seems to be an expert when it comes to parenting, and mothers are often held up to unrealistic expectations. Yet nobody really knows what it’s like until they become a parent themselves—not even the people who passionately think they do.
The truth about motherhood is that there is no one-size-fits-all method! Every family, every mom, and every child can have different needs and wants. And by that same token, not all moms experience motherhood in the same way—there is no perfect version or gold standard of parenting. We each have our own unique approach we bring to our role as a mom, and so long as we prioritize the happiness and well-being of our children, that’s all that matters.
No matter what anyone says or believes, I’m confident in my decisions as a mom because I know my family best. Though I may stumble along this parenting journey at times—questions arise even when I think I have all the answers—in moments of doubt or confusion, rather than searching for someone else’s opinions about what would be best for our family, I try to take it back to basics: What will make my kids happy?
Ultimately, when you cut through all the advice from others out there in search of perfection in parenting practices differs from one family to another; its true beauty lies in its imperfection—the characteristics which make each experience unique!
There’s no such thing as a perfect parent – everyone makes mistakes
As a mother, I’ve experienced first-hand the frustrations of trying to do everything the perfect way. You know the feeling – you pour over parenting books, scour websites and scroll through forums searching for answers. And when you head with your bundle of joy (in my case bundles!) home from the hospital and become fully responsible for their well-being, that pressure to get it right only intensifies. Trust me when I say there’s no such thing as a perfect parent – amazing parents, yes; but perfection is impossible!
We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us terrible parents. Whether it’s our feeding schedule, sleep routine or dealing with poopy nappies – each day brings something new we have to learn and adapt to. It might just be me, but does anyone else feel like things are constantly changing? Every few weeks I have some new routine or piece of advice from someone who insists on knowing better.
The truth about motherhood is that we will all be judged – by friends, family and even strangers who feel like they can comment opinion without reservation. However, while at times it can seem overwhelming trying to keep up with expectations put in place by society – deep down inside us lies our own inner wisdom, which is ultimately more powerful than any single parenting style or book theory.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t beat yourself up! Take a deep breath and try not to sweat the small stuff, as these moments will pass in an instant. Every parent has their own special brand of magic just waiting to be tapped into – so just remember one thing:
- Trust your instincts
- Love your children with all your heart
- Let the rest fall into place naturally over time
It’s okay to ask for help, and there’s no shame in admitting that you’re struggling
I wasn’t expecting motherhood to be easy, but I didn’t know just how hard it would be – it seemed like the stakes were so high, and that I could never do enough for my baby. I felt so much pressure to get it right and was filled with self-doubt when things weren’t going as smoothly as expected.
It wasn’t until I started reaching out for help that I realized just how normal all this was. So many of my friends and family members had gone through the same struggles and were more than willing to lend a helping hand. From offering advice and being a listening ear, to helping with errands or simply spending time with my baby, allowing me some much-needed respite – they were all there when I needed them.
For those who don’t feel comfortable talking to those close to us, there are lots of other options too – like therapist specializing in parenting or attending support groups where you can be surrounded by other mothers going through similar experiences. Whether it’s your partner, a family member or friend, therapist or support group that you lean toward for help – asking for help doesn’t make you weak or bad; in fact, it makes you even MORE of a great parent because you’re taking the initiative to find resources that aren’t easily available to you on your own.
Our culture today praises perfectionism, which can lead us into an endless trap of feeling inadequate if we don’t reach those unattainable standards – but parenting is not about achieving perfection – it’s about trying our best with what we have while showing up authentically. Admitting when we need help is one of the most courageous things parents can do – taking a step back shows strength rather than weakness; It shows humility—and more importantly—it shows our children how important asking for help when we need it truly is.
Motherhood is a journey, and it’s different for everyone
My journey into motherhood began much sooner than I had expected. Just three years into my relationship with my partner, I found out I was pregnant. For me, the first few years of being a parent were chaotic and overwhelming. I questioned every decision I made and compared my parenting to others constantly.
It took me some time to realize that the idea of the “perfect” parent is a myth; everyone experiences motherhood in their own unique way. Some days are good, some days are bad, but overall it’s a beautiful journey full of growth and learning.
I eventually stopped trying to be a perfect parent and looked within myself for answers instead of seeking validation from others. Through reflection and self-exploration, I realized that in order to make the best decisions for our family, many factors had to be considered—not just what’s popular or trending on social media.
That’s when our family found its stride together as parents—we knew we could trust our instincts and each other. We recognized we weren’t failing as parents if things didn’t always go as planned; it was part of the natural process and evolution of becoming better parents together.
Motherhood is a complex path filled with unexpected turns and twists along the way; no one should feel like they have to have all the answers or be perfect all the time! There will be missteps, crossroads, mistakes—but ultimately those missteps help us develop self-trust and confidence in ourselves so we can better support our children in navigating their own journey through life!
Embrace the chaos and enjoy the ride!
Being a mom isn’t easy. From the moment your child is born, you face countless choices, doubts, and fears. We often expect ourselves to be perfect parents and try so hard to meet the standards we feel society has set for us. But perfection really doesn’t exist – at least not in motherhood! We are human, after all. It’s time to lay down our expectations of perfection and accept that we won’t always get it right. Instead, let’s embrace the chaos of motherhood and enjoy the ride!
No kid is perfect—they are unique entities, full of quirks and surprises that will flip our carefully planned lives upside down again and again. From temper tantrums to teenage angst, every mother should remember that this phase is only a small part of their life with their children. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers— parenting doesn’t come with a manual! Every day brings something new for us to learn about ourselves as well as our children. Enjoy each moment for what it offers – it may be chaotic, but there are valuable lessons present in every stage of their growth.
Motherhood is much more than a job—it’s an adventure filled with trials that shape who we become as mothers and even who our children will become one day in their own lives. Every experience matters –the laughter through tears, good days and bad days can offer us moments of unexpected joy if we look back on them without too much judgment or guilt. So take a deep breath, let go of expectations (including your own!), enjoy the ride and give yourself permission just to be “good enough.”