I’ve reached the final stage of this lovely journey with Zeva, and I am so irritable it’s not even funny. My boys are just being boys, and they are driving me up the wall. Yet, when they aren’t with me I go up the wall in anticipation for them to return!! I can’t win for losing. I just want to cuddle up with them and keep them captive, which with anyone with boys my age, knows that is impossible for any period of time. They truly are sweet amazing boys, and overall have been trying really hard to keep their fighting and loudness down. God knows they have been helping me with household chores as much as they can (which isn’t a whole lot, but it’s enough to make a difference for sure.)
I feel guilty for feeling this way, and having such a short fuse. However, right now, I don’t feel like I have any control over it!! Zeva has been pushing extra hard lately, but not enough to start labor. 🙁 I feel like I have a huge watermelon in between my legs when I walk, and my back and belly and crouch hurts like crazy every time I move.
I’m horny as all get out, but sex is so complicated right now due to being pregnant. We’re still having it, but it takes me forever to get true pleasure from it. I’m climbing the walls wanting my normal sex life back. 🙂 It’s NOT hubby’s fault or mine, it’s just the reality of being in the final stages. With Little Del we never had this problem because he rode totally different in me.
Zeva keeps teasing me, giving me long doses of contractions and then stopping. She is definitely active as all get out. I lost all of my mucus plug now, and according to research that can happen 1 to three weeks before delivery. I’m worried about going into labor to late or to early because we have a major court date that matters A LOT to me on December 13th. I’m probably going to address this with our doctor. I honestly am truly surprised Zeva hasn’t made her grand arrival already. She has been pushing so much and so hard for so long now. Plus she’s really low and she’s running out of room in me. My first daughter was early, but only by two weeks and four days. I’ve had the nesting syndrome for days now, and have done as much as I can physically handle. I’ve been extremely sleepy, but that has more to do with lack of sleep at night than anything. All signs (and roads) lead to labor, but there’s no labor. Of course, when it does come, I swear it’s going to be like a theif in the night and totally unexpected because I’m getting to the point of not paying all the contractions much attention. (Just like I did in my first pregancy.)
It literally feels like my life revolves completely around Zeva. I don’t have the strength and energy to do a whole lot of anything else. I feel helpless because I can’t move around worth a darn. I can’t stay focused on anything worth a dime either. I’m struggling in my one class with our class project. I undersand the material, but yet, when it comes to putting it into a project form, I’m lost. I am one of those show me how to do something, and I can do it. Well, we’re not getting shown how to do it. We’re given books and told read them and then do it. I can’t put what I read into action worth a dime!!! I can follow along as someone does something, and grasp it pretty quickly and then pass that knowledge on. I’m not alone because everyone in the class has been complaining like crazy about this issue. There has only been 3 out of 30 people who truly understand our material completely. I have a 97 average in my other class, so I know my brain hasn’t completely failed me. 🙂
My hubby and I got to watch Breaking Dawn part 1 last night, and it wasn’t what I was expecting. I was disappointed drastically. The book was more entertaining. Of course, I read the book years ago, so the second half may be where the entertainment came into play.
Well, I have rambled enough!!