I do declare a mother’s time feels endless. I am always doing something for everyone else. Very seldom do I get time for ME since we had Zeva. My husband tries to help out, but she is totally utterly a Momma’s girl. She is getting more independent by the day, but that doesn’t change the fact that she is still clingy and wanting to have me in the same room as her. Currently the only baby proof room I can trust having her walk around in is our living room. Even when I do have time for me, guess what I’m doing….cooking, cleaning, or taking care of my own personal NEEDS.
Even all of the blogging time I take (both writing, marketing, and blog hopping) that I do she is still out of the corner of my eye along with the boys. She at times is in my arms while I type around her.
I long for the days when she gets a bit older and is more independent and I can actually enjoy playing with her more. However, at the same time, I am enjoying the baby stage because it is my last time to experience this with my own kids. I never got to enjoy it before, and I truly should feel utterly blessed by it all. I do love watching her learn the power of how far she can truly walk on her own without hanging on (which is getting further and further with each day.) I love hearing her learn new sounds that she can make and noticing each new word she adds to her vocabulary. I love how today she was at baby time at the library and she was being very actively involved with the program and doing as many of the steps as she knew to “If Your Happy and Know It.”
I love teaching the boys and knowing that I can ensure that they actually learn the material. Even though, when we look at my son’s test scores I tend to wonder if he truly is learning it all. However, he does know it when we ask him questions about the materials.
I love the fact that I am always with my family. Yet, there are still days like today that I just want to run away and have time BY MYSELF!!! I miss having time BY MYSELF!! I’m about to bounce off the walls with the desire to be totally ALONE doing my own thing. I envy the fact that my husband can go into his own little world and do what ever he wants when he wants without having to worry about being interrupted for long periods of time. Granted, he doesn’t ask to be alone hardly, if ever. I could send the kids back to him at any time. However, they get bored rather quickly watching his shows or whatever he’s doing.
Well, I have to run and finish preparing our desert for the evening. Plus Zeva is being restless to have my attention again.