WARNING……Okay, this is a rant type of blog from an annoyed Mom…
I was scrolling through Pinterest in my ha,ha spare time last night and came across a picture showing goodie bags for us PARENTS to give to our kids GUESTS from OUR KID’S birthday party!! I am still very much old school in the sense that I believe that a child’s birthday is ONE day a year that should be ALL ABOUT THE BIRTHDAY KID!! I’m NOT made of money, and many people I know are in the same boat. I don’t believe in giving kids who come to our home for our kid’s birthday party goodie bags nor do I feel we should get them from someone else’s birthday party as well. I’ve been to birthday parties where the kids came home with goodie bags, and I felt completely awkward to say the least getting them.
My kids are just as guilty of believing that if they see one of them getting something even if it is for their birthday that they are suppose to get something as well. My mother-in-law installed that belief in them, and this is the first birthday that my oldest son didn’t get anything at all, and let me tell you he was shattered. Del and I both pointed out to him that when we grew up with our siblings that we didn’t get something every time our siblings did and especially NOT on their birthday’s.
That brought up another point as well that when kids compete there are no winners or losers anymore. Even when our boys were playing soccer there was no special prize or dance when they won a game. You know what,…that made it hard for kids to really want to be actively INVOLVED in playing the game. When my brother played baseball when I grew up, if his team won a game we all got to go to Dairy Queen afterwards. Let me tell you, we cheered his team on something fierce, and the players played HARD. My brother was quite impressive on the ball field. I honestly thought he was going to grow up and make a remarkable coach because he was great at sports and with kids. I still think he would make an amazing one!!
Kids are losing the ability to be pushed to the max. My oldest son is about to start school in a public school, and quite frankly I know he’s not going to be pushed enough for my taste. He’s extremely smart, but he won’t push himself if doesn’t have to do it!! He got away with writing sloppy as all get out when he went to school before and it would make me mad as fire because I know my son can write beautifully!!! Everyone is so afraid of hurting our kids self-esteems that they are forgetting that we had our self-esteems shattered many times in order to be successful!!
Kids NEED to hear NO, that they ARE NOT ALWAYS WINNERS, that they can do BETTER, and most of all that yes,WE DO LOVE THEM. However, sometimes the best love a person can get from you is tough love. It’s much harder to push someone to success than it is to just let them slide by or to “help” them. However, the end results is so much more rewarding for both them as well as yourself because you won’t have to do for them as much in the end. 😉