(Just in case you missed the first post to this series, this post’s inspiration came from the book Mom in the Mirror. However, all thoughts and input are my own. The book is returned to the library and I only have a handful of notes that I took from the book.)
Mom in the Mirror provides a quiz in it that the reader can take to see where they stand concerning their mentality on food. I felt it was a pretty neat quiz until I saw the results. (I may have a better mentality on food than I thought OR there are far more woman who are struggling with this whole concept like I am than I thought.) Truth be told, I’m honestly hoping that the latter is the case. It would be nice to know that I’m NOT ALONE in this struggle for a healthy balance in life. Without giving away the quiz or even the full details of the quiz, I will say that my results were “Average Woman Perspective Concerning Food.” This floored me!
Harsh Reality of What Average Is
How can I, a morbidly obese short round hippo of a woman, have an average woman perspective concerning food? Is that saying that the average woman in our country today is overweight? This made me do some research on the topic, and guess what…?
An estimated 64 percent of American women are overweight or obese, according to Weight-Control Information Network (Coleman, 2014).
That figure alone was astounding. Then it yet again reminded me of my two hour people watching moment in Walmart. I have to say that for as many people that came through those doors only a very SMALL handful of the women were skinny or even a healthy weight. So, it makes me wonder why everything is still geared towards the skinny or even healthy size woman. Even Walmart, doesn’t carry my size clothes worth a dime.
Average Woman Needs to Make a Change
I realize that we obese or even overweight individuals should work on losing weight. However, if you’re like me you’ve tried a thousand and one ways to lose weight to no avail. I know for a fact I have a hormonal issue, but I don’t have the required income and/or insurance I need to get the medicine I need to regulate it. Many of the things I’ve tried to regulate it hasn’t done it.
I also have an annoying issue of emotional eating! It’s a very real downfall! Many people claim it’s a matter of getting control of your will power. In ways, I agree with that theory. However, that is so much easier said than done.
As I was reading the book, I made a bunch of notes concerning how I feel concerning food and my self-worth. I found that there is a real connection between the two. If I have a high belief that I PERSONALLY am worth having a healthy weight, a sense of style, and the life that I long to have then I will do what it takes to make it happen. I will invest in giving myself all that I am worth. Yet, I still feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Stuck Between the Rock and Hard Place
My rock is the fact that right now I’m in a very safe zone. I don’t have to worry about gaining unwanted attention from men. That in turn would put me in uncomfortable positions with them. I trust that I won’t do anything with them because I love my husband and value our marriage. Yet, to be honest, there is still that fear that they won’t accept the answer no. I know now that I’d literally be angry enough to hurt someone over it! I’d rather die than have another man touch me without my consent.
My rock is knowing that my husband finds me attractive regardless of my size. I know his love is unconditional. I can still be free to be me, even if I’m not really honestly comfortable doing things that I know he longs for because of my own self-image of myself.
My hard place is knowing that I miss being skinny. I miss having more energy. I miss being able to know that I have the option of wearing those really cute outfits. I miss not being looked at in a critical manner, but rather with praise in their eyes. Honestly, I miss being valued for my mind and abilities instead of being doubted that I can actually do it because I am overweight.
Why I don’t want to be Average Anymore
I am on this journey of becoming my butterfly version of myself not only for myself, but also for my daughter. I don’t want her to copy my negative habits of turning to food during times of stress or even major happiness. I don’t her to feel the harsh realities of having the world critic you long before they know you because of your weight. I want her to have enough self-worth within herself to take care of her body.
Having the mental emotional issues I have make traveling this road extremely difficult to explore, but nothing worth having comes easy. As I explore answering these questions in an open and honest manner, I find just how much I’ve been denying myself, and how much I didn’t want to see the cold hard truth of what I’ve been feeling and hiding. Here I thought I was living a life with no secrets!
What are your thoughts, did this average perspective really surprise you as much as it did me?
6 comments on “If I’m Average…. Then what is Our World Coming To?”
I don’t like the perception that women are given of how they have to be. We are beautiful for who we are.
I agree with you that we are beautiful for who we are, but for me personally, I don’t feel beautiful unless I’m at a healthy weight. I haven’t been at that weight since 2000 when my first pregnancy through my hormones totally utterly out of whack. I am not saying trying to say for every woman they should be skinny or even worry about their weight. In fact, I know plenty of gorgeous women who are curvy and carry themselves with great confidence. They are able to invest in the nice outfits that look absolutely stunning on them.
For me though, I need to be at a healthy weight in order to afford the clothes that will help enhance me. I need to be at a healthy weight because my screws in my ankle are not strong enough to handle the excess weight I have on my body, and therefore, can’t hardly walk either. So, it goes beyond just the weight issue as far as beauty is concerned.
In many ways, it sounds like a contradiction! On one hand, beauty is completely in the eye of the beholder, but on the other hand, my beauty is crippled because I can’t LITERALLY put my best foot forward because I’m in so much pain trying to walk period.
Hi Crystal. First, I don’t think anyone should beat themselves up over not fitting into what society deems acceptable. If you don’t feel good about how you feel physically or emotionally, let THAT be your motivating force. Looking for happiness by fitting into someone else’s idea of who you should be just doesn’t work. Second, I’m definitely not surprised to find that there is a large group of people who are under-informed about anything anymore. I sometimes feel like I’m watching the country’s IQ drop by the minute as people scurry around me at work checking Twitter and Facebook on their phones. They usually don’t even look up to say hello. I still say hi anyway. 🙂
I don’t let society deem what I should look like. I feel society punishes me because I am overweight in many ways, but that is different than thinking I need to be skinny because of society. This is a tough topic for me to express what I’m trying to say. I’m glad that you commented and I value your input, and am definitely not taking it lightly or trying to say you’re wrong. 🙂
I lost 100 pounds across 4 years about 5 years ago. It was a long journey and not one that was predicated on some kind of diet plan or some kind medical thing. It was a change of heart. As I grew in my faith, the Holy Spirit brought change to me and convicted me of my sin. I became not a “skinny” girl or a “beautiful” girl. But as he was working on the inside of me, the outside of me changed too.
I hope you’ll be blessed in this. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Of course you are beautiful first and foremost for your character, that’s no reason not to seek to be healthy as well!
Thank you so much for the kind encouraging words. I’m on this quest, and it’s hard already! I can’t really express what I feel to well, but I’m trying.