(Just in case you missed the first post to this series, this post’s inspiration came from the book Mom in the Mirror. However, all thoughts and input are my own. The book is returned to the library and I only have a handful of notes that I took from the book.)
Mom in the Mirror provides a quiz in it that the reader can take to see where they stand concerning their mentality on food. I felt it was a pretty neat quiz until I saw the results. (I may have a better mentality on food than I thought OR there are far more woman who are struggling with this whole concept like I am than I thought.) Truth be told, I’m honestly hoping that the latter is the case. It would be nice to know that I’m NOT ALONE in this struggle for a healthy balance in life. Without giving away the quiz or even the full details of the quiz, I will say that my results were “Average Woman Perspective Concerning Food.” This floored me!
Harsh Reality of What Average Is
How can I, a morbidly obese short round hippo of a woman, have an average woman perspective concerning food? Is that saying that the average woman in our country today is overweight? This made me do some research on the topic, and guess what…?
An estimated 64 percent of American women are overweight or obese, according to Weight-Control Information Network (Coleman, 2014).
That figure alone was astounding. Then it yet again reminded me of my two hour people watching moment in Walmart. I have to say that for as many people that came through those doors only a very SMALL handful of the women were skinny or even a healthy weight. So, it makes me wonder why everything is still geared towards the skinny or even healthy size woman. Even Walmart, doesn’t carry my size clothes worth a dime.
Average Woman Needs to Make a Change
I realize that we obese or even overweight individuals should work on losing weight. However, if you’re like me you’ve tried a thousand and one ways to lose weight to no avail. I know for a fact I have a hormonal issue, but I don’t have the required income and/or insurance I need to get the medicine I need to regulate it. Many of the things I’ve tried to regulate it hasn’t done it.
I also have an annoying issue of emotional eating! It’s a very real downfall! Many people claim it’s a matter of getting control of your will power. In ways, I agree with that theory. However, that is so much easier said than done.
As I was reading the book, I made a bunch of notes concerning how I feel concerning food and my self-worth. I found that there is a real connection between the two. If I have a high belief that I PERSONALLY am worth having a healthy weight, a sense of style, and the life that I long to have then I will do what it takes to make it happen. I will invest in giving myself all that I am worth. Yet, I still feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Stuck Between the Rock and Hard Place
My rock is the fact that right now I’m in a very safe zone. I don’t have to worry about gaining unwanted attention from men. That in turn would put me in uncomfortable positions with them. I trust that I won’t do anything with them because I love my husband and value our marriage. Yet, to be honest, there is still that fear that they won’t accept the answer no. I know now that I’d literally be angry enough to hurt someone over it! I’d rather die than have another man touch me without my consent.
My rock is knowing that my husband finds me attractive regardless of my size. I know his love is unconditional. I can still be free to be me, even if I’m not really honestly comfortable doing things that I know he longs for because of my own self-image of myself.
My hard place is knowing that I miss being skinny. I miss having more energy. I miss being able to know that I have the option of wearing those really cute outfits. I miss not being looked at in a critical manner, but rather with praise in their eyes. Honestly, I miss being valued for my mind and abilities instead of being doubted that I can actually do it because I am overweight.
Why I don’t want to be Average Anymore
I am on this journey of becoming my butterfly version of myself not only for myself, but also for my daughter. I don’t want her to copy my negative habits of turning to food during times of stress or even major happiness. I don’t her to feel the harsh realities of having the world critic you long before they know you because of your weight. I want her to have enough self-worth within herself to take care of her body.
Having the mental emotional issues I have make traveling this road extremely difficult to explore, but nothing worth having comes easy. As I explore answering these questions in an open and honest manner, I find just how much I’ve been denying myself, and how much I didn’t want to see the cold hard truth of what I’ve been feeling and hiding. Here I thought I was living a life with no secrets!
What are your thoughts, did this average perspective really surprise you as much as it did me?