How to Share Chores as a Married Couple

A husband and wife will have to face all sorts of challenges. You will have to overcome many obstacles in your early years of marriage. If you fail to figure out some of those things, then they will continue to cause problems throughout your marriage.

You will have to decide important things like whether to have children, where to go to church (or whether to go at all), and who does each of the chores. That last one is the kind of decision many couples have a lot of back and forth on. They may decide on it and then change their minds months later. How do you figure out who does which chores in your home?

Do What You Like

One of the best things you can do to make your marriage happier and divvy up responsibilities is for each spouse to choose the chore they like to do. There are probably some household tasks that you genuinely enjoy doing. Make those your tasks, but also don’t leave all the undesirable chores for your spouse. Those have to be divided as well.

Maybe you like to mow the lawn. That can be your chore, and you can let your spouse know you will get it done as often as needed. They don’t have to worry about it. This way, the chores get done, and everyone is happy with what they do. It’s okay if the other sex typically does your chosen chore. If you like it, then why not be the one to do it?

Do What Is Important to You

You can also choose the chores that matter most to you. If the way the dishes are washed is really important to you because you want to conserve water, and it bothers you when anyone wastes water, then you should take on dishwashing. Hand washing the dishes can use up to 20 gallons of water.   

Maybe you get annoyed when the clothes are not washed to your standards. If you feel nitpicky about the laundry so much that you yell at your spouse when he or she does them, you can avoid fights by doing them yourself. Your spouse may feel obligated to do certain chores, but if doing them will cause an argument, it is better to avoid them and leave them for the spouse who thinks their way is better.

Choose Chores Based on Health Concerns

If you have health issues, there may be some chores you cannot do or are not wise for you to do yourself. For instance, if you have a dust/dust mite allergy or sensitivity, then you probably don’t want to be the one to vacuum and sweep the floors. All the dust that gets into the air when you do that can be irritating, making it hard for you to sleep at night and feel miserable.

Leave that job for your spouse to do so that you don’t feel awful afterward.

The same principle can be applied if you have health problems that affect your energy. While you might want to do the yardwork or other labor-intensive chores, leaving that chore for your spouse makes sense if you will be wiped out afterward.

Everything mentioned so far gives you practical ways to split the responsibilities. When you think about it, it makes sense to divide the chores based on these factors. You will save yourself a lot of arguing and make everyone happier and healthier.

Give Each Other a Break

It is worth mentioning that even when you agree on which chores each of you should do, there should be times when you pitch in and help the other, doing their chores for them or assisting them with their chores. It’s wonderful to come home and see your chores already done. You can make that happen even when you don’t have time to do it yourself by hiring the best service to clean your home. This is a great way to give yourself and your spouse a break and spend time together and perhaps even go out on a date.

Agree on the Remaining Chores

So, you have decided on which chores you want to do, which ones are important to you to do yourself, and which ones you need to do because of your spouse’s health issues. Some chores are probably left over, so what do you do about them?

There are a few ways you can tackle them. After you have made a list of the remaining chores, here are some options you can try.

1. Divide the remaining chores evenly, going down the list and alternating between adding your name or your spouse’s by each one.

2. Each of you chooses some you want from the list, taking turns picking. You agree to it and then stick with it.

3. Randomly assign chores from the list. You can give each chore a number and then use a random generator to decide for you.

4. Alternate who does each of the remaining chores from week to week (which is really useful if there are some that both of you especially hate).

Once you have divided the list, you can keep each other accountable. As you start doing the chores you agreed to, be sure to have grace with one another. Transitioning to a list of chores can be tough, so you and your spouse might not always keep up with them. Be prepared to adjust as needed since your schedules might not allow for both of you to do all the chores you listed. You may also think of other chores later on that need to be done, and you will need to be flexible to add them in and decide who does what.

If you put these rules into practice, you can easily figure out the chore assignments for your home. 




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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