“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” – Sophia Loren
Today I actually surrendered Zeva to my mother-in-law for about an hour total for the first time since her birth. I made Del some homemade apple muffins today and he liked them so much that he requested another batch of them since Zeva was having a good day today. I had to run to the store to get some nutmeg. I went to the store totally utterly kidless. I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere ALONE and wasn’t in a rush to get back.
I LOVE working outside the home.
However, I do feel guilty for wanting to return to work because then that means someone else will have the primary influence on my kids. I honestly don’t want that for them. At least now when they aren’t behaving the way I want them to, I can look in the mirror and ask myself what I’m doing wrong. (I’m still fighting the battle of them being grateful for what they are given/not given.) I am also still struggling with getting them to act right in public because they get spoiled by my in-laws in public a lot. Both of those things have drastically improved since I’ve been able to stay home with them.
The Materialistic Itch
I know I’m gaining the itch to work again because I want things that are materialistic and would definitely make us extremely happy. Is the price really worth my return to work??
Yes, if the career is one that I’ll enjoy and will pay me enough to make it worth my while. I did some figures the other day about how much I would honestly have to make for it to be worth while for me to return to work. I’d have to make as much as I did in my management position with Waffle House at least, and even at that level, it’s cutting it close.
I save us so much money by staying home in so many areas:
- day care costs for three kids
- for fuel for me to go to work and back
- for uniforms for me to work
- by cooking 2-3 meals a day for us to eat
- by homeschooling our kids instead of paying to put them in a private school where they get bullied
Please don’t get me wrong, I do feel blessed to be able to stay home with my kids. I LOVE it very much as well. (Hence, one of the primary reasons I feel it has to be really worth my time to be away from them.)
If I am meant to return to work outside the home or even in the home, God will steer me in that direction by opening the door well enough that I know I’m suppose to go in. My eyes and ears are open. I have been applying for jobs that I feel I’d be good at, that may pay what I need to return to work. I’m not ruling out returning to work by any means.
What do you feel as a mother, do you prefer staying home or working out of the home?