Expressing Myself

Okay, I haven’t wrote a blog about my thoughts in a while now. However, something happened today to create this over whelming desire to write a post today about my thoughts.

I had someone whom I do think the world of de-friend me on Facebook today. I wasn’t overly shocked because like her, I do feel like we weren’t having that friendship connection like we both wanted to be there. However, she left me a message that did get under my skin some. NOT because what she stated was wrong or untrue. In fact, it was because it was true that it got under my skin so much.

I do have mood swings. I do have an erratic behavior about myself. I have these issues because I struggle with depression and also because I have ADD. Both of which, will make a person have major mood swings and also cause them to have a hard time to stay focused or on task like they would like to do. Currently, my situation is such that I can’t even think about taking on any type of medication to treat either and/or both issues I deal with. I try my best to manage them the best I can naturally. Unfortunately, those things are making it hard for me to have relationships with others with ease. I have through the course of my life learned how to have business relationships with others, but that has been a huge struggle.

I’ve got the natural “take charge” type of personality, so it has definitely helped with my management positions greatly. I also tend to be able to understand others in ways that most people can’t because I look beyond the surface when I interact with others. When it comes to associates, that has helped me out a lot as well. Plus my co-workers have also had to spend a lot of time with me, so they know what my true intentions are, and what I’m trying to express. Plus in a business setting, I’m not worried or concerned about building a PERSONAL relationship with someone.

I know I’m NOT alone with this struggle. I know that many people struggle with inner battles, and lose relationships from it because they can’t figure out an easy way to bring it up casual settings. A person may be able to connect with someone else, if settings are different. I don’t think this person is awful for de-friending me nor do I blame her for it. However, I do wish I had the chance to defend myself against her comments about me to her directly. Since my phone got broken, I don’t have her contact information except for Facebook, and now I have no way to message her on Facebook.

The funny thing is this woman possesses many wonderful traits. I enjoyed learning from her. Yes, I felt I was learning a great deal from her. I was learning how to be a gracious wonderful hostess, how to be a good friend, and even how to carry myself better. She is one of those people that I admire. I don’t want to be her, but I did enjoy learning from her by having her in my life.

The saying now a days is “if someone doesn’t add to your life, then they aren’t worth having in your life.” Pretty ironic, since sometimes your adding more to the other person’s life than you realize just by being in it and being yourself.

So, to this person, if she does happen to read this or hear about it. I wish you nothing but the best in life. I do think you are an amazing person. Please know that there is definitely a lot more to me than what meets the eye, and a lot of it is stuff that I can’t express like I wish I could.




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I'm Crystal. I'm married to Dale, and mother to Johnny.Some might say that my life is perfect because I get to do all the cliché wife things like cooking, cleaning, and decorating - but there's more! I also have many hobbies including needlework (crochet), sewing, and reading. My son's education is important, so we homeschool him together.

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