I’ve been extremely stressed lately. It’s been extremely hard NOT to indulge in all the goodies. I literally finished up the last of the little bit of chocolate that was in the house, and was so utterly relieved that it’s now GONE. I don’t have anything else sweet to run to, without having to spend an hour to cook it. That definitely helped me while I was pregnant because it meant I had to : 1) have the time to cook it, 2) a recipe in front of me to cook it, and 3) all the ingredients needed to cook whatever was in front of me.
I CAN’T afford to gain my weight back at all. I have literally gotten rid of all the big size clothes that I had. So, I don’t have a choice but to at the very least stay at the size I’m at currently.
I did run into the woman who agreed to be my coach after Zeva was born. She was proud of my success so far. It made me feel good and a bit uneasy at the same time because I was going through a struggling period. I am making progress and do still believe this is my year to make it happen.
The food didn’t make my situation any easier to deal with, and if anything I just gained guilt from indulging in it. However, the good thing is now I’m actually to the terrible point of feeling guilty. Before I made the vow to actually fix this issue, I didn’t feel anything and continued to mindless eat until I literally made myself sick from it. I wanted to make myself “pay” for whatever was going on. I know that if you haven’t been there, you can’t understand that point of view at all.
I can’t afford to go to the Y like I want because it literally cost $20 just to go to town and back. I’ll be so glad when we get another little car again. The cost of fuel (whether gas or diesel) is crazy, and it only seems to be getting worse. (If I was working, I’d be able to afford to go more!!) However, I have been doing more outside with the boys and making darn certain I take Peppermint for longer walks when I take her outside. So, it’s not like I’m doing nothing. Plus my old walking partner stated she’d come anytime I’m able to go, so hopefully next week we’ll have nice weather and can take our walks again and build me back up to the 5 mile mark in a short period of time. I’ve already got a lot of stamina and am able to keep up pretty good despite the long pregnancy. 🙂 I’m just completely out of shape when your asking me to do A LOT of things fast and hard.
I still haven’t heard anything back one way or another from my prior job. I keep reminding myself it took them a month to call me the first time to have me come in for an interview. However, call me crazy, but I figured since I’ve already worked for them that I’d hear a response of some kind by now. Of course, I’m not holding my breath on them calling me. I can hope though. If I am given another chance I’m pursuing every dream I had with them back in 2006. If it’s meant to be, it will happen!!
Life is full of so many roller coaster rides of emotions and physical aspects.
