Standing Up is a movie that is very fitting for this time of month. At least it is in my book! It is about two kids who go to summer camp, and get bullied in an extreme manner. They decide to run away from camp. The girl comes up with some crazy ways of getting back in touch with her mother. There is just enough suspense through the movie to keep my kids well entertained. It was adult enough that I totally enjoyed it.
However, it made me think long and hard about our bullying situation that is taking over our world. I have finally been able to do some blog hopping again, and I came across a blog post that really caught my attention. This blogger is running a giveaway through Green Giants, but it’s the concept of writing an Open Letter to My Kid on Bullying that impressed me. I know when I was growing up bullying was not something that happened that often.
However, I believe that as parents are being forced to work extra long hours and are worried about our finances that domestic violence is increasing in our world. I believe it was this way during the Great Depression too, but I have no physical proof to back up my theory of that.
I do have personal experience to back me up though. I’ve talked about my life dealing with domestic violence abuse from when I was kid. So, I won’t bore you with those fine details again.
I am a firm believer that kids are being bullied and physically abused by their parents at home. In turn they bring those negative things to their school and in play environments. I’m NOT saying all bullies or kids who get overly aggressive fighting are being abused at home because I do know some kids who are naturally like that who are definitely not being abused by their parents. I am saying though, that in MANY cases it’s very possible why it’s happening.
Most bullies are truly scared individuals honestly fighting to be heard just as much as the victims of their abuse are wanting to be heard. I’m totally opposite of everyone else in the world it seems.
We need to protect and save the bully.
I can literally hear some of you gasping reading that one. See, the thing that runs through my mind all the time is….
What if we focused our energy on protecting the bully?
What if we showered that bully with true love?
What if we spent time teaching that bully how to really express himself?
What if we found out why the bully is stealing lunches, lunch money, etc.?
What if we get to the heart of the matter?
I have talked to my bullies from my school as adults. They are filled with regret and sorrow over how they’ve treated others.
I believe the bully needs HELP. Help to really grow and learn. HELP to be more loving. HELP to stop being overly aggressive. There is so much I really want to say in regards to this topic, but I don’t quite have the right wording. But I do think you get a small gist as to my thoughts on the topic.
Can you agree with me at all concerning this so far?
21 comments on “Bullying and Domestic Violence Are Related”
I absolutely think bulling begins at home…even if its not abuse, a child learns how to treat others by how he is treated and the example set before him. Though provoking post to be sure. Thanks so much for stopping by chapter37 and for your kind comment!
I know I commented back to you, but for some reason it’s not showing up here. I want to make sure you knew how much I value your comment.
I totally agree with you that parents teach kids how to treat others. Many times over they treat others how they are treated.
I do hear what you are saying. I do think some bullies are in difficult situations. My son was viciously bullied when he was in 5th grade. Some of those bullies did need help, and were acting out because of their own unhappiness. Some of them, however, were just entitled, unkind children from everyday households and they were just like their entitled parents. The apple wasn’t falling far from the tree. I think, like with many things, it’s a mixed bag. Very thought provoking post! –Lisa
I do agree that some bullies are just darn right spoiled brats! You’re right it is a mixed bag situation.
I think bullies do need help – but they are learning it from somewhere and I think THAT is where it needs to stop.
So true. I believe they are definitely learning it from someone older than them.
Those are interesting questions you pose. I never thought of it from that point of view.
Honestly, I didn’t think about it much until I read that bloggers post, but she made a VERY valid point. It literally made me hunt down my bully from my school days and ask WHY.
I understand what you’re saying because most bullies have a horrible story to back why they are the way they are. More people do need to show love but I do think firmness needs to play a role in those cases where it just gets too far.
I agree with that. Someone can show love and still be firm about it.
Thank you for bringing attention to this issue that impacts our children! Getting to the heart of the matter with bullies early on could eliminate and alleviate so much!
While I do agree some bullies are just hurt people who hurt people, many are created by families that value each other. Kids learn how to behave and treat others at home. That is the primary job of a parent. Kids who spend more of their waking hours in institutionalized care than they do in the care and nurture of their parents, lack the tools needed for appropriate social relationships. I’ve seen this first hand when we took in a 17yo who had been in daycare and school 12-15 hours a day from birth to age 12 and then left to her own devices before and after school from ages 12-17. She had no idea how to talk with people, how to act in a family setting, and she is one of 4 children. I had to train her, like I did my kids when they were in preschool, about sharing, taking turns and speaking with love. It was a had first year and a half, and now at age 20 she is still learning a lot but I am so proud of the young woman she has become.
I totally agree that how they are raised makes a world of difference. I’m so glad to hear that she has improved a lot!
In my experience, those who bully have deep-rooted issues and insecurities and need help. They’re often bullying as a cry for help.
I’ve felt the same way. Many times it doesn’t get addressed properly so it only gets worse.
I agree! We have to try to help those who are hurting others and show them Christ’s love while at the same time protect the innocent!
I think that is definitely one of the things that many of us forget or lack doing.
Great article! Pinned. Lou Lou Girls
My son has been a bullying victim at school and it was such a dramatic experience! Thanks for coming and linking up at The Weekend Social. All posts get pinned in our pinterest board! Please be sure to come back next week starting Thursdays at 9PM EST on culinaryflavors.gr ! I hope to see you there!
Trust me when I say, I understand. My oldest was bullied too, and was a VERY dramatic event for all involved. Hence, it’s one of the reasons why we’re homeschooling now.