Well, I’ve mentioned before that we are in the process of me adopting our oldest son (he’s actually my stepson.) Today was suppose to be the last hearing according to our attorney and the guardian ad lien.However, when we get into the court room today. The judge reviews the documentation that Jimmy’s biological mother signed back in August 2010, but because it was missing some of the eleven points that had to be addressed on that document she threw it out. She did give us a continuance to get the necessary paperwork done. I’m fuming mad at our attorney because this is NOT the first mistake he’s made concerning this case, and he was paid in FULL already. We were originally advised when we talked to him back in May 2010, that this case should be over with before he started school that year, but it didn’t happen. It took him three months just to get the case started. Then our first court date got thrown out because he didn’t get a proper guardian ad lien. We got that ourselves then.
I must say, I’m highly impressed and happy with the guardian ad lien. He has done many visits and makes sure that he is actively talking to Jimmy, Little Del, and us. He even includes our dog in his visits (not that Pepppermint will let you not include her.) However, he is doing everything in his power to get this case resolved.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I have loved Jimmy long before I met him. I loved him the minute Del told me he existed when his mother was pregnant with him in 2003. However, Del and I both at that time in our lives was trying to salvage our marriages with our current spouses. We were just past lovers who were still being a friend for each other hundreds of miles apart from each other. However, when I met Jimmy in person in 2006, my love for him just grew to a level that I can’t express. He was having a hard time going back and forth between his mom and us. I could so relate to how he felt just from my own experience with that as a kid. There was also a lot more drama involved as well, but it gave Jimmy and I chance to bond.
We bonded very well during the summer that I was pregnant with Little Del. That bond continues to grow, and he truly wants me to be his mother as much as I want it. He was so excited this morning when he went to school, and now I have to tell him we’re back in delay mode again. However, he is use to disappointment because he’s longed to be solely ours for most of his life. He loves his mom and his siblings that he has with her, but he wants to see them on his terms. (Which, I will always do what I can to ensure he gets that opportunity!!)
This whole case breaks my heart. Kids don’t choose to deal with divorce, but yet, parents divorce many times without actually considering what they are doing to their kids. Even parents who do divorce and do what they can for their kids, they don’t realize the lasting effects it has on those kids. I will ALWAYS suffer with trust issues partly because of my parents divorces, but also because of the abuses I’ve endured in my life. There’s really no easy answer as to what is best for a kid in the given situation. I was personally blessed with my daughter because my ex-husband did end up marrying a wonderful woman, who loves my daughter as her own as well, and she wanted to adopt my daughter. Considering, I’d hardly ever get the chance to see her and how hard that is to live with, I consented. I don’t regret the decision mainly because she still keeps me a part of their lives as much as she can (which isn’t that often now because life has taken it’s toll, but I know she’s doing what she can.) Not every situation is like that!! However, sometimes a good parent has to remember that they have to do what’s best for their kids regardless who gives it to them (that’s off the show, Body of Proof, this past Tuesday.)
So, I was all prepared to write a blog about how wonderful it felt to finally be Jimmy’s mother according to the law, but that didn’t end up happening yet. However, trust me when that does happen, there will be a lot more said (not negative!!) I’m hurt because it fell through again, but I’m not mad at the judge for being very certain that everything was in place like it’s suppose to be. That way, Jimmy NEVER has to worry about his life being messed up again.
Del and I have a very strong marriage, and divorce isn’t an option for me. I know I couldn’t live without Del with ease. I’ve tried it to many times, and I have ALWAYS ended up right back with him. So, I know better than to try it again. Del feels the same way. We have our problems like any couple, but we know we can live with them.
Well, I hope your having a blessed day!!