Del and I have been together for many years now. Through those years, we’ve played the yo-yo game a lot. We’ve even gone so far as to marry other people and end up right back where we started. If I had learned the value lesson that “the better comes after the worse” earlier in my life, then I would have saved us a lot of heartaches.
The good news is though that I did learn this lesson in 2006. I endured a major car accident that crushed my right ankle and middle left finger. As a result, I became quite helpless in many ways. The doctor informed me I’d never be able to walk again. God richly blessed me with the ability to walk again. (I do still miss running with a passion, but I doubt that I’ll ever see that day again.) During the rehab of my accident, I realized I was living my life totally against what I wanted it to be. I didn’t wish to live a loveless life. I missed Del with every ounce of my being.
When Del and I did finally officially get back together, he put me through the ringer. He challenged my loyalty to our relationship every ounce of the way. He tried to toss me to the curb a thousand and one times because he believed that I was simply going to leave him again like I had always done in the past to him. My in-laws kept telling me, “show him wrong, and stick it out. It will get better once the worse is over.”
I read the quote “More marriages might survive if they partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse,” by Doug Larson the other day. It reminded me of how much Del and I overcame together. If I had walked away AGAIN when he was challenging my loyalty during that first year, we were back together this time; I would not have been able to have experienced the past six years of marital bliss with him.
Ever since I’ve said, “I do,” he has tried his utter best to be a good husband. He has made mistakes, but gosh knows I have too. We’ve had to work through some kinks concerning communication and intimacy issues, but in the grand scheme of things we have a healthy loving marriage.
Many people warn couples that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and it truly is! It’s your year of adjusting and learning how to live together. Even if you’ve lived together prior to marriage, once you say “I do” things do change. The reality sets in that it’s for life and permanent. You have to figure out a way to make it work. I’ve seen far too many couples give up on their marriages during the first year.
For the record, you will hit many rough patches in your marriage. From sickness, financial struggles, to dealing with juggling many aspects of life and so many other things, but in the end there is a silver lining.
When I think about my marriage with Del, I’m always reminded of my lullaby, The Rose by Conway Twitty, my Mom use to play for me when I was growing up on her organ. It describes my love for Del almost to a T. I was always afraid of loving him completely. Now I’m so utterly thankful that the seed of our love survived the winter storm.
Have you gone through the worse to enjoy the better moments in life with your spouse?